What My Beloved Handbag Taught Me
Are you feeling a bit frayed or about to snap?
A few days ago, I went on one of the most exciting trips in my professional life – I flew to Florida for my very first national TV appearance on Lifetime Television’s morning show The Balancing Act. I’ve been on several local TV shows, but this is my very first national TV appearance. Needless to say, I was so excited! It took me a long time to shop and decide which outfits to bring (they wanted me to bring 3 alternatives, and let’s not forget the shoes) and make the travel arrangements. The new jacket I bought, a beautiful white jacket with white beads and floral embroidery, was vetoed by the show’s production coordinator. She told me they prefer their guests not to wear any black or white or navy outfits. “It’s a morning show”, she stressed, “we want bright colors.” Well, if you know me, I wear black A LOT. I bought the white jacket thinking it’s a light color, but according to her it doesn’t work well on TV. So, this was 3 days before the interview, and I was back to square one. Luckily, I remembered a Chinese shirt that I bought many years ago. It’s turquoise and pink and printed with lotus flowers. So it’s the same color scheme as the cover of my book Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul, which is the subject of my interview. Then I prepared the other two alternative outfits, one in turquoise and white, the other indigo and white. It sounds silly, but it seems harder getting the outfits and shoes ready, than the interview itself.
Speaking of interview, just a few days before my trip to Florida, I was interviewed by Dr. Christiane Northrup on her show Flourish! on Hay House Radio. It was a wonderful interview about how to move from over-care and burnout to Intensive Self-Care. We shared stories and tips and had a good laugh! We also chatted about what it’s like for me to grow up as a girl in a culture & family that strongly favors sons over daughters. I’ve had to overcome quite a few external AND internal barriers to get to where I am today. If you are a Hay House member, you can access the archives of the show. By the way, if you have not read my story, you can read about it here.
As I got on the plane en route Florida, I noticed, for the first time, that the straps of my handbag were frayed. In fact, one of them was so frayed that you could see the fabric inside. This is a handbag that I’ve been carrying every day for months. I love the design details. It’s beautiful, classy and functional. And it goes with everything – yes, you guessed it, it’s black, of course. I do have many handbags, but I usually don’t bother to change handbags with different outfits, unless it’s a very special occasion.
So, I’m sitting on the plane staring at the frayed straps of my beloved handbag, a little worried that it might not survive this all-important trip. Then, I chuckled as the metaphor dawned on me.
Most of us are juggling so many roles and responsibilities, day in and day out. Just like my handbag, we are working overtime, often without realizing how “frayed” we have become. I’m no exception.
As I looked back, I had a couple busy weeks leading up to this trip. For example, a few weeks ago, I was training intensely with my children to compete in a Chinese Wushu tournament, which took a lot of time and energy. Earlier this month I launched a Mindful Wellness life coaching program at the Sparta Cancer Center, helping cancer patients, survivors, caregivers and staff reduce stress and create more inner peace and balance. It’s a very exciting new program that uses mind body interventions as well as life coaching to help cancer patients and caregivers to not only cope with cancer, but also thrive beyond survivorship. My intention is to give them the tools and confidence to not just survive, but thrive after their cancer treatments. There IS life beyond cancer, and I feel so privileged to be able to help them bridge that transition.
Two days before my trip, I was invited to meet with the coordinator of Survivorhip Initiative at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Hospital. That was a 3-hour drive into NYC, which provided me a great opportunity to practice various stress-relief techniques. ☺ My favorite methods for relieving stress in a traffic jam: music, Young Living therapeutic-grade essential oils (such as Peace & Calming, Tranquil, Joy), and EFT. The meeting went very well, and I’m hopeful that something great will come out of this to benefit more cancer patients and caregivers on a larger scale.
I’ve put in many extra hours preparing for these programs, meetings, tournament and interviews. I’ve stayed up until wee hours on some nights. Now that I had a chance to sit and reflect, I realized how tired I was.
Yup, it could happen to ANYONE. Stress and burnout can totally sneak up on us. If you are like most people, I bet you have experienced this too! You might be working overtime for your work or family without realizing how worn out you have become. Next thing you know, you have a physical or emotional breakdown. If you have come down with a bad cold right after (or before) a big deadline, you know what I’m talking about! It’s your body’s way to tell you that you need a break.
So, how do you prevent burnout? You need to be mindful of your physical, mental and emotional state. Check in with yourself often. How are you feeling in your body? Are you tired, hungry, sleepy or aching? How are you feeling emotionally? Feeling sad, cranky, impatient, irritable or resentful are all signs of stress and fatigue. Are you so stressed you can’t think straight? Are you craving all the junk foods or surfing the net mindlessly?
When you detect multiple stress symptoms, give yourself permission to take a self-care break. The thing with stress is, if you can catch it early, you can easily take a short break and bounce back. If you let it go for a long time, it will become more difficult for you to recover and you will have to deal with other complications caused by stress. Chronic stress is linked to higher risks of all major diseases, so the consequences could be devastating for you and your family. You will do yourself and your loved ones a big favor, by giving yourself a break when you need it.
As for me, after checking in the hotel, I went straight to the beach, which was only 10 minutes away (lucky me). The fresh air, sun and ocean relaxed and recharged me. The next morning, I showed up at the TV studio with a little tan and a lot of happiness. My interview went very well and it ended a lot earlier than I thought. They had asked me to reserve the entire day for this, but now I found myself with hours and hours of free time! I’m not due to fly home until the next morning. I suppose I could use my free time to work. Some people might even change their flight to return to work early. Not me. Not after receiving the divine message through my handbag!! I had one of my BEST days ever!! I got to play with stunning exotic butterflies and adorable Lorikeets at Butterfly World, and spent the rest of the afternoon back at Ft. Lauderdale Beach… No schedule, no hurry, no worries, endless white waves, eternal blue sky, white puffy clouds, even the rainbow showed up briefly!! Ah, it was heavenly!! My perfect kind of “work-cation”!! ♥
Putting Myself Back in the Game
It was the New Jersey International Wushu Tournament. I was competing in the long fist forms division. All eyes were on me and the other competitor on the floor with me. Even though I only had 3 weeks of practice before the tournament, I was feeling great and doing well with my form.
Then my worst nightmare happened.
I remember glancing at the other competitor on the floor with me and noticed she had finished her form. We performed different forms, and hers was so much shorter than mine. I remember thinking to myself: “Wow, she is already done? I’m only half way through my form!” When you are competing in tournaments, martial arts or otherwise, it’s extremely important to stay 100% focused and not pay attention to other competitors. However, for a second or two, I was thinking about the other woman and took my focus off my own form. Before I knew it, it happened.
There I was, standing in the middle of the gym, all eyes on me, and I went BLANK. It was like an out-of-body experience. I couldn’t think. I dared not look around. I didn’t even remember the last move I did. My mind was blank except the scream in my head that grew louder and louder: “Oh my God!!! OH MY GOD!!!”
Years ago, I competed in state and regional tournaments, won many gold & silver medals, and this had never happened to me. Of course, I had always allowed at least 3 months to train for any tournaments, and had my form down completely. This time, however, I only had 3 weeks to prepare, and I didn’t even mean to compete in the first place!
Three months ago, my children started learning Wushu, one of many styles of Chinese Kung Fu. They both picked it up quickly, and seeing how much fun they were having, I decided to join them. Taking Wushu became one of our shared interests and fun time together. When the tournament was announced, I didn’t think my children had enough training and there was just not enough time to prepare. However, a few weeks later, when I heard a bunch of other kids from our school were going to compete, I re-considered and decided to sign them up. Since we only had 3 weeks left until the tournament, I decided to train with them. My intention was to learn the form so I could help them. Ironically, my children learned the form so quickly while I was struggling at the beginning to memorize the moves. The first training session, we were taught 45 moves, some of them brand new to us, and that’s only less than half of the entire form!! The Gremlin in my head was screaming “NO WAY! I can’t possibly learn ALL this!! I can’t do it!! Nobody can get ready for tournament in 3 weeks!! This is totally CRAZY!!”
On top of that, my body was screaming too!! Before learning Wushu, I had not trained or exercised much at all for more than a year. I kind of “let myself go” and my physical fitness and energy level really suffered. Even though I still looked thin, I was really out of shape compared to my old self. My body was hurting and I couldn’t breathe right. I felt defeated and sad that I’ve let myself go.
Every training session, my Gremlin continued to bombard me with “I CAN’T” messages. I had to keep telling him to shut up and keep telling myself I can do this!! It’s like a silent screaming match up there!! The Black Belt in me gradually woke up and I was determined to learn this form. I continued to struggle and train every day, and finally, my mind and body “clicked” and I learned the form. Finally I was able to do the entire form on my own and without running out of breath. My confidence grew when I realized that my form was not bad at all. As the tournament came up, the excitement drew me in. The day before the tournament, I decided to compete. I was feeling great on the tournament day, even though I still had a trace of doubt and fear that I might forget my form. I even visualized holding the medal in my hand.
It doesn’t matter now. I was totally STUCK!! It felt like I was stuck there for ETERNITY!! (Actually, when I watched the video afterward, that moment was less than 3 seconds, but it sure FELT like eternity when it happened.)
I had watched my children compete earlier and they both did very well, even though it was their very first martial arts tournament. They didn’t forget their forms at all. Now it was my turn, and I was the one forgetting! Am I going to cry like the other kids who also forgot their forms? How embarrassing!! How do I get myself out of this? I wish I could just disappear and erase everybody’s memory of watching my form, but that wasn’t one of my super powers.
After what felt like eternity, I somehow put myself back together and finished my form. SO glad it was over!! I cringed as the judges gave out the scores. It was not bad at all, despite my mistake. Whew!! What a relief!!
In the end, my daughter won a silver medal, and I got a gold. It was my daughter’s very first medal and she was overjoyed!! Both my daughter and son have worked very hard for this tournament and I’m SO proud of them!!
I’m very proud of myself too. Out of all my gold medals, this one is very special. Not only did I challenge myself and accomplished what seemed to be Mission Impossible, I proved to myself that I could still triumph after a HUGE mistake. The old me would have felt so embarrassed and ashamed that I would have been completely paralyzed. But the new me focused on “How do I get myself out of this?” My mind had to quickly switch to problem-solving mode and it got me unstuck.
In addition, the referee that was in charge of giving out medals made a mistake, and did not give my gold medal to me. The old me would have assumed that they were right and cost myself a gold medal. However, I decided to speak up and double-check. As it turned out, I was not the only one who almost missed my medal. Two other children in my school were supposed to win gold and silver medals! I’m so proud of myself for speaking up!!
The biggest lesson I have learned is that I must put myself in the game in order to win. If I had listened to my Gremlin, I would’ve believed that it was impossible for me to learn the form or get ready for the tournament in 3 weeks. I would have given up before the tournament and probably even talked my children out of it. If I didn’t believe in myself, I wouldn’t have decided to compete at all, and my chance of winning any medal would have been ZERO.
How about you? Do you stay in the game with full commitment and determination? Do you stick to the end, no matter what setbacks you encounter? Or do you let your Gremlin take you out of the game before it even starts?
More importantly, who do you need to be, in order to win the prize?
Today – Give Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul to someone you love & receive BONUS gifts!!!
Do you feel stressed, overwhelmed, running on empty & no time for you? Then you need to do this TODAY!!
Today is the day!! I’m officially launching my book Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others on Amazon.com on April 22. This is an interactive guidebook for moms, nurses, caregivers, teachers, and anyone who is taking care of others, and feeling stressed, overwhelmed, running on empty, with no time for themselves (more details about the book below).
I’m on a mission to bring my book and the message of Intensive Self-Care to one million women nurturers out there! Will you help me spread the word?
Please tell all your friends, colleagues, family, especially those who are moms, nurses, teachers, caregivers who are taking care of aging parents or special needs child, healers and anyone taking care of others. This book will help them reduce stress, create life balance, restore inner peace, and take better care of themselves (without feeling selfish or guilty).
When you buy this book TODAY April 22 on Amazon.com, you will receive dozens of BONUS gifts from 90+ leading gurus, experts & mentors. Check out all the details here:
http://www.IntensiveSelfCareBook.com
Our world is fast-paced and loaded with a tremendous volume of competing priorities and responsibilities. The need to center ourselves, catch our breath and release the stress is probably more crucial than ever. How are we to accomplish this when we are faced with the overwhelming need to make a difference in others? Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul is a definitely gentle loving breeze with a clear and strong message effortlessly delivered. When you read the ideas in this book, told in a wonderful story-telling style, it’s easy to reinforce the truth that has motivated this book: caretakers need to take care of themselves.
If you have ever felt stressed, overwhelmed, no time for you, running on empty, or feeling selfish & guilty about taking time for yourself, then this book is a must read for YOU!! This book will make a PERFECT Mother’s Day gift too!!
http://www.IntensiveSelfCareBook.com
A fourth generation medical professional, I was born a nurturer. Raised in a culture where self-sacrifice was not only expected but encouraged, I understood at a very young age that balance would be pivotal in realizing the depth of happiness I really desired for myself.
Through my 20+ years of experience in nursing, counseling, coaching, and being a mom of two, I experienced and observed the demands and stress of being responsible for someone else’s daily care, whether it’s caring for a normal family or caring for someone who is ill or disabled. I recognized that care-taking is as rewarding as it is exhausting, but far too often we sacrifice our own well-being and happiness because nobody ever showed us how to manage it all.
The consequences of neglecting your self-care could be detrimental, not only to your physical & emotional health, but also to your work, business bottom lines and your relationships. Chronic stress is linked to all major illnesses including heart attack, stroke, hypertension, diabetes and cancer.
It is time to take action and learn how to take good care of YOU, while you continue to take care of others! This book will show you how. It’s terrific, timely and pertinent to most of our lives — preventing and eliminating stress & burnout!
And, when you buy my book on Amazon.com on APRIL 22, you will receive dozens of bonus gifts from 90+ leading experts, such as Mark Victor Hansen (best-selling author of Chicken Soup for the Soul), Lisa Nichols (teacher in The Secret), Marci Shimoff (teacher in The Secret, and best-selling author of Happy for No Reason), Janet Attwood (The Passion Test), Joe Vitale (The Attractor Factor) and so many more!
http://www.IntensiveSelfCareBook.com
With amazing insights into all aspects of what it truly means to be both caretaker and nurturer, I shared in my book personal stories, practical tools and tips that are universal in their application and great for professional healthcare workers, therapists, social workers, teachers, family caregivers, moms, and anyone who is caring for others. The need for this information is far more urgent than most could ever realize.
Join me as I explores in depth caretaking concerns such as:
* Recognizing Self-Care Deficiency Syndrome and what to do about it
* How to resolve the feeling of overwhelm
* Finding joy and serenity in the present moment
* How to restore peace and calm when life is spinning out of control
* Creating life balance to avoid caregiver burnout
* How to clear out emotional clutter for lasting inner peace
* Finding peace in the face of death and grieving
* Detached involvement for caregivers
http://www.IntensiveSelfCareBook.com
This is more than a book! The self-coaching sessions following every section offer personalized action steps and build a solid foundation for a new understanding and level of caregiving. This is a book you’ll want to keep as a reference and go back to again and again.
While we all know it’s important to take care of ourselves, most of us don’t always practice what we believe to be true. We need help and we need it in a way that is easy for us to use. Just read one small but potent piece to know why you will remember the message in this book:
” Intensive Self-Care is NOT being selfish and it’s
NOT a luxury, but rather an essential practice
for your survival and overall well-being.”
I hope it resonates with your soul and brings you a sigh of relief. It is okay to re-prioritize and put yourself FIRST for a change.
This is a must read for anyone who is taking care of others and needs some tender loving care for themselves. Get this amazing book for yourself and anyone you care TODAY. It’s terrific, timely and pertinent to most of our lives — preventing and eliminating stress & burnout! And, remember, I will be there for you when the time comes!
http://www.IntensiveSelfCareBook.com
P.S. Don’t forget to buy Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul on APRIL 22. You will receive dozens of bonus gifts from 90+ leading experts.
http://www.IntensiveSelfCareBook.com
P.P.S. If you have ever felt stressed, overwhelmed, running on empty, no time for you, or feeling selfish & guilty about taking time for yourself, then this book is a must read for YOU!! This book will make a PERFECT Mother’s Day gift!!
http://www.IntensiveSelfCareBook.com
Fast Track to Calm: Tao of the Unhurried Way
(Adapted from the book Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others by Hueina Su)
Does your life look like a race car running at cut-throat speed and, to your horror, the brakes are broken? Do you feel like you are perpetually in a hurry, even when you are not in a hurry to go anywhere? Do you feel like all the items on your to-do list are dancing around in your head, and you can’t seem to concentrate on any of them? Do you run around like a chicken without a head all day, and still feel like you will never “catch up”? Has it occurred to you that you have forgotten how to relax?
You are not alone.
Many of my coaching clients came to me, all frazzled and stressed, brimming with anxiety that they will never get it all done, or get it done the “right” way. They wanted to learn how to manage their stress, and create some balance in their lives, but they simply did not know how to relax. You’d be surprised how many people draw a complete blank, when I ask them what they do for fun, or what relaxes them. It’s so sad that they have become so disconnected from themselves. A client once told me that even when she was at the spa, she could not totally relax, because half way through her massage she was already thinking about what she had to get done after the spa.
Addicted to Speed
With so much to do, and so little time, how do you deal?
Many people told me they tried to become more efficient so they could squeeze in more tasks in a day. Some proudly told me that they thrive on stress under deadlines. Can you relate to this?
What you may not realize is that, you have been running on adrenaline. When we are under stress (either physical or emotional), it triggers the fight-or-flight response in our body, which is then flushed with adrenaline to help us deal with the “crisis” at hand. Adrenaline is like caffeine that pumps us up with extra energy and alertness. It’s referred to as adrenaline rush because it’s highly addictive. You feel so much more productive and on top of everything. However, just like how caffeine affects our body, once the adrenaline rush is over, you’d experience a “crash” afterward.
Some people try to stay in that “rush”, so they wouldn’t experience the “crash”. The problem is, when you are running on adrenaline, your body is filled with stress hormone cortisol. Research has repeatedly linked chronic stress and cortisol to increased risks of heart disease, hypertension, weight gain, sleep disorder, etc. In other words, unchecked chronic stress can wreck havoc on your health.
Haste Makes Waste
There is a Chinese saying that’s similar to “Haste makes waste”. The fastest way is not necessarily the best way to get you where you want to go. Sometimes, when you try to rush somewhere, you end up not arriving at all.
When people asked me how to reduce stress quickly, I’d tell them to take a deep breath and slow down. Sounds very counter-intuitive, but, the fastest way to restore inner peace is to slow down. Slow w-a-y down.
Here are some ideas to help you practice what I call Tao of the Unhurried Way.
Watch Your Breathing
Research shows that when you focus all of your attention on one thing, your heart rate slows down and blood pressure is lower too. The easiest way to achieve this is to observe your breathing. We tend to hold our breath or breathe shallowly when we are stressed. When you find yourself tensed or holding your breath, take a few deep breaths. Then breathe normally for a minute or two, while focusing your attention entirely on breathing in and out. Your mind would probably try to interrupt you with all kinds of ideas and thoughts. When you notice a thought, just observe it, without judging it, and let it go. Return to observe your breathing.
This is a basic relaxation technique and the beginner level of meditation. Sounds simple, but it’s not easy to do. We are so used to running and doing stuff all the time that most people have forgotten why we are called human “being”, not human “doing”. If you have difficulty focusing at the beginning, don’t worry. Start with 1-3 minutes, and work up to 30 minutes if you can.
Practice Mindfulness
Years ago, a friend introduced me to Jon Kabat-Zinn and Thich Nhat Hanh’s books on Mindfulness Meditation, and I fell in love with their work. Mindfulness is considered the heart of Buddhist meditation. According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, mindfulness is moment-to-moment, non-judgmental, awareness. It’s a tool to bridge the gap between doing and being, and bring us back to here-and-now.
Our mind is often on auto-pilot, and we are not fully “awake” at the present moment. You might be physically here, but your mind is completely somewhere else. Without mindfulness, we are not fully present in our own lives, and in our relationships with others.
To demonstrate mindfulness, Jon Kabat-Zinn asked his stress-reduction program participants how they eat raisins. Most people eat them by the handful. I’m sure you do too. However, he asked the participants to eat one single raisin, and really experience the full flavor and texture of a raisin. I tried that, and it opened my eyes. Now when I need a reminder of mindfulness, I’d take a raisin, or a very small piece of dark chocolate, and eat it as slowly as I can.
You can practice mindfulness meditation anytime, anywhere, in everything you do. Whether you are eating, reading, washing dishes, walking the dog, or pumping irons at the gym, try focusing 100% of your attention on what you are doing. Then, everything you do would be a mindfulness meditation. Needless to say, if your goal is relaxation and inner peace, multi-tasking is not the way to go.
Stop Speed-Eating
Even if you are not interested in practicing mindfulness, you should really slow down when you eat. Eating on the run produces anxiety and stress, which interferes with digestion. Studies show that when people eat fast, they tend to over-eat. That’s because when you eat fast, your brain does not have enough time to register that you are already full, and that you should stop eating. As a result of stress (remember that cortisol contributes to weight gain) and over-eating, you’d end up gaining weight.
A recent WebMD article lists speed-eating as the No. 1 diet mistake (skipping meals is No. 2 on the list). Another study showed that when you sit down to eat a snack, you are less tempted to eat other snacks later on. It seems like when we are “eating on the go”, our brain often doesn’t register how full we are. Another reason to practice “mindful eating”, instead of “speed eating”.
So, try to sit down, and savor your food. If you don’t have time to sit down and relax at every meal, at least make a conscious effort to eat one meal in peace every day. Unplug the phone, TV, computer and your Blackberry. Be fully present and eat in peace.
Allow Enough Time
In our over-scheduled, always-rushing life style, we often under-estimate how much time each task takes, or over-estimate how much we can get done in the amount of time we have. As a result, you are always running late and stressed out. When you schedule your appointments, try to allow 1.5 times of your original estimated time. Also, allow enough travel time between appointments. That way, if you hit traffic, you won’t go crazy.
How about the transition between work and home? How often do you rush home and, without taking a break, jump right in to your “other job” at home? It’s important to allow yourself enough time and space to make that transition. Perhaps you can take a walk, visit a cafe or book store, or go to the gym, before heading home. I know someone who would drive around the block, or sit in the car on his own driveway for a few minutes, until he is ready to re-join the rest of the family. Believe me, you will feel much calmer when you walk in the door.
Clear the Way for Calm
In order to slow down and have enough time, you need to de-clutter your home and your schedule. An organized home gives you a sense of serenity and provides a safe haven for you to relax and recharge. On the other hand, to cut down tasks on your schedule, you need to say no and set good boundaries.
Take an honest look at your schedule and commitments. How many of those do you really enjoy? How many of those can be done by someone else? Do you take on more commitments because you want to, or because you think you should? Or, perhaps you take them on just because you don’t know how to say no? Protect your time like it’s the most valuable asset you have. Since we all have 24 hours a day, when you say yes to something, you are saying no to something else. So choose carefully. What would you rather be doing?
Take Time for You
Last but not least, take time for you. Most people don’t realize they are over-extending themselves and heading toward burnout. The truth is, you might not realize it, unless you can slow down enough to see your reality. Some clients came to that realization during our coaching sessions, after examining their schedules, values and priorities. Some told me that everything they did was all related to their responsibilities at work and at home, and they have not done anything just for themselves. They almost forgot what they used to do just for fun.
If you can relate to this, it’s time for some Intensive Self-Care! Make a conscious choice to put self-care as a top priority. After all, if you don’t nurture yourself, you won’t have any more to give.
Schedule “Me Time” on a daily, or at least weekly, basis. Do something good for yourself every day. It could be something small, like buying yourself some fresh flowers, or spending half an hour reading, or taking a bubble bath. Or, it could be something big, like a spa day or girls night out. Do whatever pleases you. You deserve it.
Take time for you, and take the time to do what you enjoy. Savor every moment. Be fully present. Then you’ll be on the fast track to true peace and calm.
NOTE: This article is adapted from the book Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others by Hueina Su. “Fast Track to Calm” is key #3 in the book.
Visit www.IntensiveSelfCareBook.com to learn how you can receive dozens of BONUS gifts when you purchase the book This is a perfect book for moms, caregivers, nurses, doctors, businesswomen and anyone taking care of others.
Lifelong Caregiver Leads 1.4 Million Nurturers Toward Renewed Wellness
With support from more than 90 top gurus, experts and mentors, author Hueina Su will launch her latest book, Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, to impact more than 1.4 million nurturers worldwide on April 22, 2010.
DENVILLE, NJ — April 20, 2010 — Hueina Su, The Nurturer’s Coach, is on a mission to bring the message of self-love and Intensive Self-Care to make a difference in more than one million women nurturers with her latest book, Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others. The book is detailed at http://www.intensiveselfcarebook.com and is available at Amazon.com on April 22, 2010.
Su is an internationally recognized speaker and expert in helping people find the missing peace and balance in their stressful lives. A fourth generation medical professional, Su was a born nurturer. As a former registered nurse, counselor, certified life coach and a mom of two, Su experienced and observed the demands and stress of being responsible for someone else’s daily care. She recognizes that caregiving is as rewarding as it is exhausting, but too often we sacrifice our own well-being and happiness because nobody ever showed us how to manage it all.
“My lifelong journey as a caregiver inspires me to write Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul as an interactive guidebook for all moms, caregivers, healthcare professionals and other nurturers who need tender loving care for themselves,” says Su, President and Founder of Beyond Horizon Coaching based in Denville, New Jersey.
Now, in Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul, Su explores in depth caregiver concerns:
• Recognizing Self-Care Deficiency Syndrome and what to do about it
• Resolve the feeling of overwhelm
• Finding joy and serenity in the present moment
• Restore peace and calm when life is spinning out of control
• Creating life balance to avoid caregiver burnout
• How to clear out emotional clutter for lasting inner peace
• Finding peace in the face of death and grieving
The self-coaching session at the end of each chapter allows readers to deepen their learning and personalize their action steps.
Su’s book has received high praise from top experts in this subject.
“Hueina Su has written an excellent book for health care professionals, caregivers and all nurturers. As a public health care and patient advocate, I have worked with many doctors, nurses, cancer survivors and caregivers over the years. I have noticed that, all too often, we health care professionals don’t always practice what we preach. As a result, we are very prone to stress and burnout,” says Dr. Ming-der Chang, Vice President of Asian Initiatives, American Cancer Society Eastern Division.
“Hueina’s book is a timely reminder for all of us to put our own health and well-being as a top priority, while we attempt to take care of our patients and loved ones. Through her personal story and coaching exercises, Hueina offers patients and caregivers inspiration, hope as well as practical tools for better self-care, joy and fulfillment,” Chang says.
Corrie Woods, author of The Woman’s Field Guide to Exceptional Living, echoes her voice, ‘“As a recognized expert in the field of self-care for caregivers, Hueina Su writes eloquently about the need for caregivers to nurture themselves with the same commitment, passion, and soul that they nurture others. She offers practical advice, personal experience, and compelling reasons to make self-care a priority. This book is a fabulous contribution and one I will be enthusiastically sharing with my clients and colleagues.”
“The world needs more advocates for intensive self-care like Hueina!” says Renee Peterson Trudeau, author of The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life. “The importance of self-nurturance is a powerful message that millions of women around the globe need to hear.”
Su is on a mission to bring the message of self-love and Intensive Self-Care to one million women nurturers. Top supporters include Dr. Joe Vitale, Mark Victor Hansen, Marci Shimoff, Terri Levine and Sallie Felton – just a few of the dozens who offer an amazing array of valuable bonus gifts with the purchase of the book.
On April 22, Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul will be available on Amazon.com, as well as marketed via newsletters, blogs, websites, social networks and book mark sites. Its release is well-timed for the upcoming Mother’s Day.
“Intensive Self-Care is NOT being selfish and it’s NOT a luxury, but rather an essential practice for your survival and overall well-being,” Su says. “This is a book that will touch the lives of all who read it, from mothers to adult children caring for an aging parent, to professional healthcare workers. This book is a must read for anyone who is stressed and overwhelmed in their caregiving roles.”
For more information about the book and special bonus gifts, visit http://www.intensiveselfcarebook.com.
About Hueina Su and Beyond Horizon Coaching
Hueina Su, MS, BSN, CEC, The Nurturer’s CoachTM, is a renowned expert in helping people restore the missing peace and balance in their stressful lives. Su is a professional keynote speaker, certified life coach, and author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others. She is the creator of Rx for BalanceTM, The Coaching OasisTM, and Nurture and Grow RichTM programs.
Su is the founder and president of Beyond Horizon Coaching, a global coaching and training company, specializing in providing solutions for work-life balance, stress management, and Intensive Self-Care through personal coaching, executive coaching, teleseminars, keynote presentations, team-building training, and other wellness services.
To sign up for free stress management video e-course and learn more about Su’s coaching, keynote speaking, training services and products visit http://www.HueinaSu.com.
# # #
Note: Hueina Su’s full bio and additional photos http://www.HueinaSu.com/media-room.
She is available for interviews and can provide a list of tips and other articles. Call 973-664-0446 or 201-572-3641or email Hueina@BeyondHorizonCoaching.com.
Contact Information:
Hueina Su
Beyond Horizon Coaching
Phone: 973-664-0446 (O), 201-572-3641 (Cell)
Email: Contact@BeyondHorizonCoaching.com
Web: www.HueinaSu.com
Celebrate You: The Leading Lady of Your Show
Today is my birthday. It’s become sort of a tradition for me, to spend a day at a spa, to celebrate my birthday. This year is no exception. I’m excited about getting pampered, and spending some time alone reflecting about my life in the Quiet Room.
Before I go, I thought it’s a good fit to share with you an article I wrote a while ago, called Celebrating You: The Leading Lady of Your Show. Enjoy!
© Copyright 2007 Hueina Su
Most people think about Valentine’s Day, when they think about the month of February. It’s important to celebrate your loved ones, and love in general. However, while you are busy planning a special evening with your special someone, I would like to remind you to celebrate YOU — the most important (but often neglected) person in YOUR life.
Whenever I asked the question “Who is the most important person in your life?” My clients and workshop participants always answered “my husband/wife, my kids, my parents”, etc.
NOT ONCE has someone answered “Me” or “Myself”.
NOT ONCE.
I often joked that “If your answer is anyone but yourself, then you need to come see me ASAP!”
Think about it: What would your life be without YOU?
What would your loved ones’ life be, without a healthy, happy and vibrant YOU?
When my clients said to me “But the show must go on”, I asked “Whose show are you talking about?” I told them, “You may not realize this, but YOU are the Leading Lady of your show, the show that’s Your Life“.
Every single one of us is the Leading Lady (or Man) of our own life.
Now, let me make myself clear. This is NOT about being ego-maniac or narcissistic. It’s about self love, the greatest love of all. (Remember that Whitney Houston song? Now that I mentioned it, I bet you can’t get that song out of your head now, can ya?)
“But, ….”
I know, there’s a big BUT coming up right at this moment….
You probably have convincing reasons why you are not the most important person in your life, and why you cannot afford to put your self-care as top priority.
As a professional life coach, consultant and mother of two, over the years I’ve heard many, many legitimate reasons as well as excuses (and the limiting beliefs behind them), from my clients, my friends, and my family. I have experienced many similar challenges myself, in my previous roles as a nurse, counselor, full-time stay-at-home mom, full-time working mom, small business owner, etc. Believe me, I know. It’s not easy.
It’s especially hard when you have some limiting beliefs around the issue of self love, self esteem and self-care. You know the limiting beliefs I’m talking about — “I can’t afford it”, “I’m not worthy enough”, “I don’t deserve it”, “I must take care of everyone else first (or else)”, “If I say no, people won’t love/like me any more”, etc. etc. etc.
Does it ring a bell?
These limiting beliefs took years to form, and it will take some time and some hard work to overcome them. But, it’s not impossible. When you can break free from these limiting beliefs, you will finally be free to be your authentic self, and free to create the life you truly desire. If you need some coaching around these issues, I’d be happy to help you.
Even when you are still chained to your limiting beliefs, you can still make a conscious choice, right now, to love and accept yourself, and to treat yourself with respect and some much needed TLC.
Remember, you are the Leading Lady and director of your own show. You are in charge and fully responsible for how your show turns out to be. If your show is competing for the Academy of Life Award, which categories will it be nominated? Which awards will you win?
This Valentine’s Day, make a point to celebrate YOU, honor yourself, and give yourself the LOVE and star treatment you truly deserve.
In the News: Author Hueina Su Featured in Natural Health Magazine
More Than Good Intentions
Author and life coach Hueina Su, President of Denville-based Beyond Horizon Coaching, is featured in the February 2010 issue of Natural Health Magazine, in an article titled Good Intentions.
Hueina Su featured in Natural Health Magazine
DENVILLE, NJ — February 24, 2010 – Tired of setting New Year’s Resolutions — and beating yourself up when you’ve lost sight of them come March? This year can be different. The secret: Set New Year’s intentions, not resolutions. “Few of us are able to stick to our resolutions because we remember previous attempts at self-improvement, and it brings up negative thoughts and emotions,” says Hueina Su, author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Souls: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others and president of Denville-based Beyond Horizon Coaching.
Su is featured in a two-page spread article titled Good Intentions, in the February 2010 issue of Natural Health magazine. Even though the article is titled Good Intentions, Su stresses, “It takes more than good intentions to achieve your goals.” In this exclusive interview with Natural Health magazine, Su offers the following strategies to achieve your 2010 goals.
Focus on the positive — Instead of trying to fix a negative in your life, state your goal in a positive way. For example, instead of “I need to lose 15 pounds”, say “I will get leaner and stronger.”
Prioritize — Address your goals one at the time according to their importance. Which one will have the greatest impact on your happiness and success?
Get clear about the why — Digging for the real reason you are trying to achieve something will give your goal a more meaningful value and help you overcome potential roadblocks or setbacks.
Be specific – An action plan needs to be specific and achievable. Make a list of the necessary tasks and resources you’ll need to hit the end goal, then create an action plan for what you will do every day, breaking it down into small, doable steps.
Stay open for help – Never underestimate the power of community when it comes to achieving goals, whether it’s a workout buddy, mentor or life coach to hold you accountable and keep you motivated.
Celebrate your wins – record your efforts and your wins every day. Celebrating your successes will help you track your progress, fine-tune your action plan and stay motivated until you reach your goals.
“Working with a professional life coach is a great way to get the kind of support you need to get over the inevitable roadblocks,” say Su, “With the right mindset, action plan and support, your chance of reaching your goals this year will greatly increase.”
About Hueina Su and Beyond Horizon Coaching
Hueina Su, MS, BSN, CEC, The Nurturer’s CoachTM, is a renowned expert in helping people restore the missing peace and balance in their stressful lives. Su is a professional keynote speaker, certified life coach, and author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others. She is the creator of Rx for BalanceTM, The Coaching OasisTM, and Nurture and Grow RichTM programs.
Su is the founder and president of Beyond Horizon Coaching, a global coaching and training company, specializing in providing solutions for work-life balance, stress management, and Intensive Self-Care through personal coaching, executive coaching, teleseminars, keynote presentations, team-building training, and other wellness services.
To sign up for free stress management video e-course and learn more about Su’s coaching, keynote speaking and training services, visit www.HueinaSu.com.
# # #
Note: Hueina Su’s full bio and additional photos are at http://www.hueinasu.com/media-room
She is available for interviews and can provide a list of tips and other articles. Call 973-664-0446 or email Hueina [at] BeyondHorizonCoaching.com.
