Intensive Self-Care: Allow Yourself to Rest Without Guilt

Self-Love Allow Yourself to Rest Without Guilt

After the car accident earlier this month, I’ve been taking extra time to rest, so that my body can heal and recover. Coincidentally, during a group coaching call the other day, the topic of rest and self-care came up. Several members in our group (all high-achieving woman entrepreneurs) have asked for support and guidance on getting more rest and self-care time for themselves. Some of us have a tough time setting boundaries around work. You know, when you are a high achiever working for yourself, it’s very tempting to work ALL the time. However, if you don’t have adequate rest and self-care, your health and your business simply won’t survive. Other people have a hard time unplugging from Internet and social media (myself included). It becomes a distraction and time suck that interfere with both work and family/personal time.

Apparently, taking time for rest and self-care is a common challenge among high achievers.

It’s no surprise to me. Self-Care Deficiency is a hidden epidemic among moms, caregivers, healthcare professionals, small business owners and other high-achievers, as I discussed in my book Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others. So many women have a hard time ALLOWING themselves to rest — out of guilt, unworthiness, or because they are so wound up (mentally, physically, emotionally, or all of the above) that they simply cannot relax and rest . Can you relate?

I used to feel very guilty for sleeping in, especially when my kids were younger, and when it’s bright & sunny outside (that was an old programming from my childhood about not being lazy & wasting time). I often “override” my body’s signals with my strong will and my drive to achieve. The old programming that says if you rest & sleep in, it means you’re not a good mother or not working hard enough, used to bring up SO much guilt in me. I’d beat myself over and over.

Nowadays? NO GUILT. I honor and allow my body to rest when it needs to. The work will get done with more grace & ease, when I’m fully recharged.

How about you? Do you listen to your own body, and ALLOW yourself to rest without guilt? What old messages & beliefs get stirred up when you try to rest or do something nice for yourself?

Allowing yourself to rest is not being selfish or lazy. It’s an act of self-love. I love what my coach suggested — be “an overachiever for rest”. Let’s channel our overachieving energy into Intensive Self-Care. Let’s try it for a week, OK? Are you up for the challenge? :)

Tell me: What would you commit to do (or NOT do) today, in order to take better care of YOU? Please comment below and let me know. I’d love to hear from you.

If you need support in creating a self-care practice and more time for YOU (minus the guilt), I invite you to book a complimentary 30-min consultation with me via phone or Skype, and we will explore how coaching with me can help you. You can schedule your appointment here

Take good care of yourself, because you are irreplaceable.

P.S. My book Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul is a PERFECT Mother’s Day gift — for yourself and/or for someone you really care about. You can order here.

 

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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The Last Knit: A Lesson Of Passion, Balance and Letting Go

The Last Knit animated short film directed by Laura Neuvonen

It was right before dawn, a knitter quietly walked toward a cliff. She picked a good vantage point facing the cliff and the rising sun, set up a chair and spread out her knitting supplies. She looked around, smiled, feeling satisfied with her arrangement, and got ready to create her masterpiece. As the sun rose up in the sky, the knitter has created a beautiful, long, multicolored scarf. She reached down to a pair of scissors at her feet, getting ready to cut the yarn and finish her masterpiece. However, she hesitated and decided to keep going. She stroked and examined her creation with admiration and pride, as she continued to knit. Her passionate fingers moved skillfully, faster and faster. The scarf grew longer and longer, curled and piled up by her feet. She stretched her legs and gave the pile a gentle kick, in order to create more room for her creation to grow.

That innocent, gentle kick was the tipping point that created the irrevocable domino effects that sealed her fate…

You see, unbeknownst to the knitter, when she kicked the pile of scarf to make more room, the tip of the long scarf fell off the edge of the cliff. As she continued to knit, and the scarf continued to grow longer, more of the scarf hung off the edge of the cliff, and the growing weight started to pull the entire scarf AND the knitter toward the edge of the cliff.

By now, the knitter realized there was a problem, as she was fighting a losing battle to pull the scarf away from the cliff. She could barely keep herself from falling down the cliff with her masterpiece. At this point, she could no longer reach the scissors, as she had been pulled WAY too far from her chair. What are her options? She could pull out her knitting needles and let go of her scarf. Or, she could simply let the whole thing go…

But, of course, she couldn’t, and WOULDN’T, let go of her beloved masterpiece.

Instead, she decided to knit FASTER, adding length to her scarf in order to counteract the weight and speed of the rest of the scarf falling down the cliff. Her face stubborn and determined. Her fingers moving feverishly. She knitted and knitted like there was no tomorrow… At one point, the scarf flew up in the sky, as she stared defiantly at it, as if she was taming a wild beast. For a moment, you might think that victory was hers. However, that’s when she ran out of yarn.

That’s when everything fell apart… 

The scarf now pulled her entire body off of balance and she was being dragged on the ground toward the edge of the cliff. She couldn’t reach back for the scissors. There was nothing nearby for her to grab on. In a moment of desperation, she decided to knit her long hair into her creation. She thought she could buy enough time to pull the entire thing back from the cliff. However, she simply didn’t have the strength.

Her creation has grown to be larger than life and she couldn’t do anything but be dragged down by it. The edge of the cliff was fast approaching. And this time, she was totally attached (literally!) to her creation and couldn’t even let go…

This is the story from an amazing animated film called The Last Knit. The entire film is less than 7 minutes long, with NO dialogue at all, but it’s full of edge-of-your-seat twists and turns till the end, with some PROFOUND lessons. I’ve included the video at the end of this post, so you can watch the film yourself, and find out what happened to the knitter in the end. It’s a surprise.

What do you think of this story? To me, this is a cautionary tale about passion, balance (or lack thereof), and letting go.

There is a fine line between passion and obsession, between devotion and compulsion. Would you say this knitter was passionate and devoted? Or, would you say that she has crossed the line and become obsessive compulsive?

I’d like you to read my article again, but this time, replace the word “knitting” with “working.” The scarf represents the money, fame, power and anything else that the knitter is determined to achieve in life. The chair represents her grounded center — her life balance or her true self. The scissors represent the discernment for “enough-ness.” As time passes, the more she accomplishes, the more ambitious she becomes. She could have used the scissors to cut the scarf when it’s “good enough”, but her ambition for MORE and her attachment to her creation pushed her to keep going, allowing herself to be pulled off of balance, and almost led to her own demise.

What do you think about this story now? How differently do you feel when you see it through this new lens?

Have you met people who are so passionate about their work, and so devoted to their own creation, that they have lost their balance in life, or even become a bit obsessive compulsive?

Have you ever felt like you have lost your balance (and/or yourself) while working at a job, a project or a business, and felt like you were being dragged involuntarily like the knitter in the story?

When you get to the point of your creative process, where you could “tie a bow” and it would be good enough by most standards, how often do you choose to keep going, to make it bigger, better or more perfect?

When something (a job, business, project or relationship) is overwhelming or falling apart, do you tend to work harder and faster, “weave your hair in it” and sacrifice yourself as a last-ditch effort?

How do you find the balance between passion and obsession?

Can you discern when to persevere and when to let go?

Where do you draw the proverbial line in the sand?

When is enough really enough?

These, my friend, are the questions I’m offering for you to ponder. If you can’t answer them for yourself, perhaps I can help.  Contact me for a complimentary initial consultation (by phone or Skype), and I will help you get some clarity and point you toward possible next action steps.

 

The Last Knit (2005) from Anima Vitae on Vimeo.
About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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Have You Made THE Shift Yet?

Start a Legacy
Four days ago (March 11th), Google CFO Patrick Pichette announced that, after nearly 7 years as CFO, he is retiring in order to spend more time with his family. His heartfelt letter of resignation blew up the Internet and inspired many discussions and articles about work life balance and honoring one’s core values.

On the same day, my daughter received a wonderful news that she was named as a recipient of the Rutgers 2015 Academic Excellence Award. This award is given by the university to the top 10% of sophomores at Rutgers based on GPA performance in their respective schools. My husband and I are overjoyed and SO proud of our baby girl. She maintained a 4.0 GPA through her freshman year, and I know that’s not easy as an Animal Science major on the Pre-Vet track. She has always been very conscientious and self-motivated. My husband and I are far from the so-called Tiger Dad or Tiger Mom. In fact, growing up in an “Achieve or Die” culture, having experienced (and barely survived) the Overachiever Minefield, and having lost 2 cousins to suicide in their teen and early 20s, I am highly aware and mindful of NOT subjecting my own two children to many things that I went through in my youth.

When the news broke out on the same day about Patrick Pichette’s retirement and my daughter’s award, I was once again humbly reminded of my enormous responsibility of raising the next-generation high achievers. I was reminded of a photo of me and my daughter taken on her high school graduation day (pictured), where there was a banner behind us that read “START A LEGACY”. I wasn’t aware of the banner when we were taking the picture. It was until much later when I looked at the picture and realized what a PERFECT message we were given. What a blessing! This whole “business” of being a parent is about leaving a legacy, isn’t it? We are not here just for ourselves. At the end of the day, we’ve got to ask ourselves, “What kind of legacy am I creating? At the end of my life, what kind of legacy am I leaving behind?” That’s WAY more important than any fame, fortune or achievements.

We’ve got to ask ourselves, over and over, “What kind of role model are we being for our children?” As you know, our children learn more from what we do, than what we preach.

A few years ago, I watched a transformational movie called The Shift, starring Dr. Wayne Dyer, one of my favorite spiritual authors and mentors. In the movie, he talked about a fascinating study called The Moment That Turns Your Values Upside Down. In this study, they asked a large group of men and women to list their top 5 priorities before and after “The Shift”, which is the “Quantum Moment” that changes your life in such a dramatic way that challenges and changes your priorities, core values, and even WHO YOU ARE. Sometimes The Shift is triggered by a spiritual awakening, a tragic loss, or some kind of “wake up call”. Doesn’t it remind you of my Metamorphosis story?

Are you curious about the top 5 priorities men and women have? (Hint: they are VERY different) And how their top 5 priorities changed after The Shift? (again, VERY different and totally surprising)

Let’s look at men first. Before The Shift, men’s top 5 priorities were:

  1. Wealth
  2. Sense of Adventure
  3. Achievement
  4. Pleasure
  5. Be Respected

After The Shift, men’s top 5 priorities changed to:

  1. Spirituality
  2. Personal Peace (less anxiety and stress, peace of mind)
  3. Family
  4. God’s Will (a sense of purpose)
  5. Honesty (authenticity, honest with his own feelings and with himself)

Dr. Wayne Dyer noted that spirituality was NOT even on top 15 for men before The Shift, however, it became their #1 priority after The Shift. Family was on top 15 before The Shift, although it was way down on the list.

Now, let’s look at women. Before The Shift, women’s top 5 priorities were:

  1. Family
  2. Sense of Independence
  3. Career
  4. Fitting In
  5. Attractiveness (looking nice, be liked by others)

After The Shift, women’s top 5 priorities changed to:

  1. Personal Growth (How am I growing as a human being?)
  2. Sense of Self-Esteem (How do I feel about myself? Am I worthy and valuable?)
  3. Spirituality
  4. Happiness
  5. Forgiveness (letting go of resentment and hurt from the past)

Dr. Wayne Dyer noted that, for women, happiness was almost at the bottom of their priority list before The Shift. Women were told that doing what they are supposed to do is more important than feeling happy or feeling entitled to happiness. After The Shift, happiness climbed to #4 on their priority list.

Quite a dramatic change of priorities for BOTH men and women, right? Were you surprised? What surprised you the most? Can you relate to the study results?

Back to Google CFO Patrick Pichette. What prompted this dramatic and unorthodox career move? Pichette recalls a vacation in Africa with his wife last fall, during which she suggested they keep traveling and really see the world. He initially gave a typical prudent CFO type response: I would love to keep going, but we have to go back. It’s not time yet. There is still so much to do at Google, so many people counting on me, etc. (you can read his full memo at the end of this post)

“Then she asked the killer question,” Pichette wrote in his memo, which he posted to Google+. “So when is it going to be time? Our time? My time? The questions just hung there in the cold morning African air.”

That was his THE Shift moment. He recognized and embraced THE Shift, and made the conscious and wise decision to honor his core values and priorities.

How about you? Are you living a life aligned with your core values and priorities? If not, would you like to make THE Shift? 

No, you don’t need to quit your job, run to Africa or move to a monastery on top of a mountain (unless you want to). You CAN make THE Shift right where you are.

Nirvana, as they say, is just a thought away.

THE Shift is a change process which starts from WITHIN yourself — your thoughts, beliefs, mindset. It’s an inside-out job. Of course, to change your life to re-align with your new priorities and core values, you’ll have to change your behaviors and make different choices about your life too. This is where coaching can help. Big time.

Once you become aware that your current life is not in alignment with your core values, priorities and/or who you truly are, the mis-alignment can feel increasingly uncomfortable, even excruciatingly painful. It’s like forcing yourself into a pair of way-too-small shoes AND having to walk 5K in those shoes every single day. Ugh! It’s pure torture and self-abuse. Just the thought of it makes me shudder.

Instead of torturing yourself, let me invite you to consider coaching with me. If you are a high-achieving woman (or man) who is very successful BUT feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and unhappy at the end of the day, AND you have challenges with:

1) Taking care of EVERYONE but not enough time for YOURSELF

2) You are dealing with “Internal Stress” such as being very hard on yourself, constantly criticizing yourself, trying to be nice and please everyone, trying to be perfect & put-together all the time, fear of failure, or fear of judgment/rejection

If you are struggling with one or more of the above challenges, you WILL benefit from coaching with me.

Some of the benefits of coaching with me:

  • Less stress and anxiety, Better sleep
  • More joy, inner peace and calm
  • More self-confidence at work
  • More self-compassion and less self-judgment
  • Better mental focus, productivity & performance
  • Better understanding of your own limiting beliefs & behaviors (Less self-sabotage)
  • Better self-care and better health
  • Better relationship with yourself and with others (think your spouse, children, in-laws, coworkers, friends etc)
  • Better at saying NO and setting healthy boundaries
  • More time for you WITHOUT GUILT
  • Practical tools and strategies for managing yourself and your work/life

Imagine… If you can have just ONE of the above benefits RIGHT NOW, how differently will YOU feel? How much BETTER will your work life & family life be?

The Peace, Joy and Freedom of creating a life you love can be yours, if you have the courage to MAKE THE CHANGE. Let me be your guide.

Meditation

The truth is, if you keep doing the same things you’ve been doing, you’ll keep getting the same results. How will you feel a year from now, or 5 years from now, if you keep doing what you’ve been doing?

If you are READY and WILLING to invest in yourself and your life, I’d like to offer you a *complimentary* 30-min Initial Consultation with me.

This can be done by phone (or Skype, if you live outside of the US) at a time that’s convenient for you and me. Please note: this is NOT a sample coaching session. This is a consultation to explore if we are a good fit for coaching.

Whether you decide to coach with me, you WILL definitely get clarity about your challenges and the possible action steps for you. So, you really have nothing to lose, and EVERYTHING to gain.

I have a limited number of Initial Consultation openings each month. It’s first come, first serve. To apply for your consultation, simply click on the “Apply Now” button below to schedule your appointment online.

Apply Now

 

 

 

P.S. Here is Patrick Pichette’s full memo:

After nearly 7 years as CFO, I will be retiring from Google to spend more time with my family. Yeah, I know you’ve heard that line before. We give a lot to our jobs. I certainly did. And while I am not looking for sympathy, I want to share my thought process because so many people struggle to strike the right balance between work and personal life.

This story starts last fall. A very early morning last September, after a whole night of climbing, looking at the sunrise on top of Africa – Mt Kilimanjaro. Tamar (my wife) and I were not only enjoying the summit, but on such a clear day, we could see in the distance, the vast plain of the Serengeti at our feet, and with it the calling of all the potential adventures Africa has to offer. (see exhibit #1 – Tamar and I on Kili).

And Tamar out of the blue said “Hey, why don’t we just keep on going”. Let’s explore Africa, and then turn east to make our way to India, it’s just next door, and we’re here already. Then, we keep going; the Himalayas, Everest, go to Bali, the Great Barrier Reef… Antarctica, let’s go see Antarctica!?” Little did she know, she was tempting fate.

I remember telling Tamar a typical prudent CFO type response- I would love to keep going, but we have to go back. It’s not time yet, There is still so much to do at Google, with my career, so many people counting on me/us – Boards, Non Profits, etc

But then she asked the killer question: So when is it going to be time? Our time? My time? The questions just hung there in the cold morning African air.

A few weeks later, I was happy back at work, but could not shake away THE question: When is it time for us to just keep going? And so began a reflection on my/our life. Through numerous hours of cycling last fall (my introvert happy place) I concluded on a few simple and self-evident truths:

First, The kids are gone. Two are in college, one graduated and in a start-up in Africa. Beautiful young adults we are very proud of. Tamar honestly deserves most of the credit here. She has done a marvelous job. Simply marvelous. But the reality is that for Tamar and I, there will be no more Cheerios encrusted minivan, night watch because of ear infections, ice hockey rinks at 6:00am. Nobody is waiting for us/needing us.

Second, I am completing this summer 25-30 years of nearly non-stop work (depending on how you wish to cut the data). And being member of FWIO, the noble Fraternity of Worldwide Insecure Over-achievers, it has been a whirlwind of truly amazing experiences. But as I count it now, it has also been a frenetic pace for about 1500 weeks now. Always on – even when I was not supposed to be. Especially when I was not supposed to be. And am guilty as charged – I love my job (still do), my colleagues, my friends, the opportunities to lead and change the world.

Third, this summer, Tamar and I will be celebrating our 25th anniversary. When our kids are asked by their friends about the success of the longevity of our marriage, they simply joke that Tamar and I have spent so little time together that “it’s really too early to tell” if our marriage will in fact succeed.
If they could only know how many great memories we already have together. How many will you say? How long do you have? But one thing is for sure, I want more. And she deserves more. Lots more.

Allow me to spare you the rest of the truths. But the short answer is simply that I could not find a good argument to tell Tamar we should wait any longer for us to grab our backpacks and hit the road – celebrate our last 25 years together by turning the page and enjoy a perfectly fine mid life crisis full of bliss and beauty, and leave the door open to serendipity for our next leadership opportunities, once our long list of travels and adventures is exhausted.

Working at Google is a privilege, nothing less. I have worked with the best of the best, and know that I am leaving Google in great hands. I have made so many friends at Google it’s not funny. Larry, Sergey, Eric, thank you for friendship. I am forever grateful for letting me be me, for your trust, your warmth, your support, and for so much laughter through good and not so good times.

To be clear, I am still here. I wish to transition over the coming months but only after we have found a new Googley CFO and help him/her through an orderly transition, which will take some time.

In the end, life is wonderful, but nonetheless a series of trade offs, especially between business/professional endeavours and family/community. And thankfully, I feel I’m at a point in my life where I no longer have to have to make such tough choices anymore. And for that I am truly grateful. Carpe Diem.

Patrick

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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Stop! In the Name of Love


The majority of people I work with and speak to are highly successful and intelligent high-achieving professional women and entrepreneurs. It’s the same type of women I’m also connected with on Facebook and other social media. The interesting thing about social media is that you get to have a peek into other people’s lives from their posts and also from the comments by others. If you pay attention, there are some patterns and trends worth noticing.

For example, there is a worrisome trend I’ve observed over the years, but more so in the last few years. More and more women (whether successful professional women, entrepreneurs, or stay-at-home moms) are pushing themselves past breaking point! As women, we’ve taken on more and more responsibilities both at home and at work. In the process of pursuing our professional goals and taking care of our loved ones, our own needs often got pushed off our mile-long to-do list. Not only that, I’m seeing more and more women who couldn’t (or wouldn’t) take a much-needed break UNLESS they are sick.

Can you relate?

I cringe every time I read or hear someone say that they are so physically ill or injured, BUT they choose to push on, instead of allowing themselves to rest and heal. They complain that they are feeling so miserable, but, they still wouldn’t stop. So, a simple cold might drag on forever, or turn into a sinus infection or even pneumonia. Then, and ONLY then, they’d be FORCED to take a long break in order to recover.

Believe me, I know this all too well, because that used to be my M.O. for many years.

Years ago, I was working with a very successful business coach, who is a typical Type-A high achiever. I’d never forget a story she told us. She was pushing herself really hard, as usual, and running nonstop building her coaching business, writing a new book and getting ready for an international speaking tour that she was really excited about. Right before her speaking tour, however, she tripped and broke her Achilles tendon! She was forced to cancel her speaking tour and rest for 6 months. It was a painful and long recovery, not to mention a costly lesson. She laughed and said that the Universe literally forced her to stop, because she wouldn’t listen.

That story really made an impression on me. I became very aware of how often I had done the same thing to myself. I was so driven and always pushed myself relentlessly. It’d take nothing short of an illness or injury to slow me down. I almost always got sick right after a big goal or project was completed — and sometimes I got sick right before the deadline. Sounds familiar? I’d push and push, ignoring my body’s signal for needing a break. Then I’d get sick and rightfully get a chance to rest. It’s almost as if I unconsciously didn’t feel that I deserved to rest UNLESS I was sick, so my body had to break down in order to get the rest it needed.

Can you relate? The show must go on, you might say. And, you’d even say it with a sense of pride, as if you’re wearing a badge of honor for working so hard while you’re feeling so ill.

One time, a very successful coach I know said that she was very proud for delivering a multi-day training, even though she was running a high fever and coughing miserably. She patted herself on the back for keeping her commitment in spite of her flu. I commended her on her strong work ethic and commitment, then gently asked, “I wonder if it is for your highest good, and your participants’ highest good, for you to deliver the training when you are feeling so sick?

It’s something to think about, isn’t it? Besides the obvious concern that you don’t want to pass your germs to someone else, why are you doing this to yourself? More importantly, what are you modeling for your clients, team members, students, colleagues, and/or children?

Whether you are a professional woman, business owner, corporate executive or working mom, your health and well-being are essential for your long-term success and happiness. You are the “golden goose” and you need to treat yourself accordingly.

When I look back at how I was treating myself years ago, my heart is filled with compassion for my younger self — just as I’m now feeling compassionate toward the women who are pushing themselves relentlessly, often past breaking point. I’m so glad that I’ve learned to be kinder to myself, take better care of myself, and tune in more keenly to my own body. I rest when I need to. I no longer need to get sick, just so that I can “legitimately” take a much-needed break.

If you are one of those high-achievers who push themselves without proper self-care, if you are heading toward burning out or breaking down (physically and/or emotionally), please, STOP in the name of love. STOP in the name of self-love. STOP for the sake of the people you love (and those who love you). STOP for the sustainable success of your career, business, and/or the cause you care deeply about. They need you to be healthy, happy, vibrant and engaged. They need you to be there for them for years to come. Your burning out or breaking down WOULD NOT serve anyone.

I sincerely hope that you, too, will learn to be more loving and compassionate toward yourself. Give yourself a little more time each day, to rest, to nurture your body and recharge your spirit. Even just a few minutes of quiet time or a cat nap would make a huge difference. Give it a try, OK? YOU deserve it.

If you need more inspiration and strategies for taking care of yourself WHILE you take care of others, make sure you get a copy of my book Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others. You can download the first 4 chapters (as my gift to you) at www.IntensiveSelfCareBook.com.

Take good care of yourself… because you are irreplaceable!

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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Holiday Stress Relief for the Shy and Sensitive Introverts

Are you a shy, sensitive introvert? Do you get overwhelmed easily by noise, light, busy activities, crowded places, trying new things or meeting new people? Are you easily affected by other people’s words, emotions and/or energies? If so, chances are, holidays are stressful and overwhelming for you. With MORE people, things and activities to deal with, it’s very easy to get stress and sensory overload. Can you relate?

Let me tell you a first-hand experience I had last week.

It was the day after the red-carpet premiere of The Keeper of the Keys movie in which I costar with Jack Canfield, Marci Shimoff and John Gray. I had a great time getting all dressed up (the hair and makeup took 2 hours) for the red carpet and hanging out with my fabulous costars. It was surreal to watch myself on the silver screen. The movie was AMAZING!! We partied till past midnight (which was 3 AM Eastern time) on the premiere night. I was exhausted, but I had to get up early that morning for another hair and makeup session for my photo shoot. I hadn’t drank coffee for a while, but, I asked for one that morning before heading down for the photo shoot.

Hueina Su Marci Shimoff Jack Canfield at The Keeper of the Keys movie premiere

Note to self: Never schedule a photo shoot the morning after a major party!

The photo shoot went well. I tried my best to smile despite my fatigue. It was a LOT of walking, though, in downtown Las Vegas, in my super high heels, which I totally didn’t expect. After an hour of walking around, my feet were killing me and I just wanted to crawl back to bed.

Hueina Su & John Gray at The Keeper of the Keys movie premiere

That’s when my dear hubby called, saying he and our kids were having lunch near the hotel, asking me if I were going to join them. I asked him to bring me some food and iced tea instead. I really needed a break. When he got back, he was complaining that I didn’t answer his text about what kind of tea I wanted. He questioned why I wouldn’t answer my phone “all morning” or text him back when I “had a break during the photo shoot.” Then he was rushing me to get ready to go to Red Rock Canyon.

Are you kidding me?!! I was really irritated, to say the least. First of all, I told him, I didn’t “have a break” during the photo shoot. We were walking and taking pictures the whole time. And, my phone was on mute, in my purse, which the photographer was carrying for me. Second of all, the entire movie VIP luncheon, premiere night and the photo shoot, even though fun, were official business functions. I was busy working, for God’s sake!

It wasn’t a pretty picture… I was hungry, tired and really cranky. It took great constraint on my part to NOT have a meltdown in front of my kids. On our way to the Red Rock Canyon, you could clearly feel the tension in the air.

After eating some food and meditating to center myself, I felt MUCH better. The gorgeous scenery and fresh air at the Red Rock Canyon uplifted my spirit. We were amazed by the peace and quiet in that magnificent open space. I breathed a sigh of relief, as I took in the beauty all around me, and every cell in my body relaxed. Before long, I was happy playing with my family and snapping tons of pictures (you know how much I love photography). Well, nature proved to be just what I needed to recharge and center myself.

Hueina Su at at The Keeper of the Keys movie premiere

It was a big lesson for me. Being a shy and sensitive introvert, I’m usually quite mindful of managing my energy – physical, mental and emotional energies. I can strike a pose and enjoy all the glamor and excitement on the red carpet, AS LONG AS I allow enough time to rest and recharge. Having quiet, solitary time every day is extremely important to me. However, on this trip, because of the tight schedule and because I brought my entire family with me, I ended up not having quiet time for myself. Sleep deprivation and low blood sugar made everything worse! Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and I’m so happy that they could share this amazing experience with me. However, if I could do it again, I would’ve built in pockets of quiet time, just for me, every single day. That’s why after returning home, I intentionally unplugged from emails and Internet for a few days, so that I could rest, recharge and process all the exciting experiences from this trip.

Hopefully you’ve learned a valuable lesson from my story too. Here are a few tips for you this holiday season and beyond:

  • If you are a shy, sensitive introvert, you need to be mindful of your activities and energy level. To avoid sensory overload, plan your day and activities carefully. Try not to schedule too many activities that are taxing for you physically, mentally or emotionally.
  • Build in enough quiet time and rest every day, so you can recharge and stay centered. Practice meditation, spend time in nature, or simply sit quietly. Let yourself sleep in or take a nap when you need it.
  • Use stress relief techniques and tools such as deep breathing, yoga, and visualization. Therapeutic-grade essential oils are an excellent tool for stress relief, managing energy level and emotional healing. Just make sure you are using the therapeutic-grade essential oils so you don’t end up burdening your body with allergens and chemical toxins.
  • Practice Intensive Self-Care and self-compassion. Ask yourself: “What’s the most loving thing I can do for me right now?”
  • Set good boundaries on what kind of people you interact with. Try to surround yourself with positive people and limit your time with people who drain your energy.
  • Know that what other people think of you, how they feel or act are NOT your business. You can only control your own thoughts, emotions and actions.
  • Give yourself permission to say NO. You don’t have to accept every single invitation to holiday gatherings.
  • Focus on what really matters to YOU and let other stuff slide.

Most important of all, be fully present and ENJOY the holidays!

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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Help Me Celebrate Moms and Support American Cancer Society

Since last June, I’ve been leading the Mindful Wellness Coaching Program for cancer patients, survivors and caregivers at the Sparta Cancer Center. In March, I co-organized and delivered a keynote at a special breast cancer survivors event called Sailing Through Your Breast Cancer Journey, which was co-sponsored by Summit Breast Care, Newton Memorial Hospital, Project Self-Sufficiency and Sussex County Cancer Coalition. The event was well-received and we had almost 100 participants. My own grandpa and grandma both died of cancer, and I took care of many terminal cancer patients when I was a nurse years ago, so I’ve always feel for cancer patients & survivors. That’s why I’ve done several workshops and participated in breast cancer walks for American Cancer Society over the years.Intensive Care for the Nurturer's Soul by Hueina Su

This year, I’m doing a special fundraiser for American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life on May 14. I’m helping the Rainbow Racers to raise money for their team. From now till May 14, when you order my book or CDs from my website, I will donate 50% proceeds to the Rainbow Racers for Relay for Life.

In addition to my book Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul, there are 5 different audio CDs to choose from: A Prescription for Stress-Free Living, The Balancing Act: Time Management for Busy Professionals, Learn to Say NO, So You Can Say YES to Your Life, Effortless Decision-Making Strategies for the Indecisive, and Changing Lanes: Secrets of Successful Midlife Career Change. Each one offers inspiration as well as PRACTICAL action strategies you can use right away. They make perfect gifts for moms, caregivers, teachers, coaches, healthcare professionals, and anyone who can use some relief from their stressful lives. Plus you will be supporting a great cause!! :)

To order my book and CDs, please visit my website www.HueinaSu.com/store. If you prefer to donate directly to Rainbow Racers, you can visit their team page at the American Cancer Society website.

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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Valentine’s Day Special

Valentine’s Day Special Bundle to Celebrate You!

Valentine’s Day is about sharing love with someone special, and that should include YOU! As a nurturer we often focus so much on taking care of EVERYONE but neglect ourselves. In celebration of Valentine’s Day and National Heart Health Month (February), I am offering an amazing special gift to celebrate YOU!!! This special bundle takes three of my powerful tools to help you reduce stress, nurture yourself without guilt, and create more JOY and PEACE in your busy life.

Are you someone that needs a little nurturing and self-love or do you know someone that could use the encouragement? These were specially selected as a bundle to give you that self-love and nurturing you need in order to care for others.

The Valentine’s Bundle Includes:

Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others

* Do you feel like there is no time for you?
* Are you feeling lonely and isolated?
* Are your work and life out of balance?
* Do you feel overwhelmed and stressed?
* Are you lacking a social life?
* Do you feel there’s never enough time?
* Do you feel exhausted at the end of the day?
* Is stress causing you physical or emotional distress?
* Difficulty juggling your work and family life?
* Disappointed in the lack of progress your loved one or patient is making?

Then this book is a must read for YOU!

“This book is a must read for anyone who is in the role of caregiver: nurses, doctors, home health aids, or anyone caring for a loved family member. Hueina Su has done an outstanding job of giving tools and techniques that are practical and highly valuable to caregivers. This book will inspire you as you hear her compassionate voice, giving you hope as well as solutions.”
— Terri Levine, PhD, MCC, The Guru of Coaching®, best-selling author of Coaching is for Everyone
This amazing interactive guidebook will help you:

  • Create more time for YOU
  • Resolve the feeling of stress & overwhelm
  • Take care of yourself without feeling selfish or guilty
  • Find joy and serenity in the present moment
  • Restore peace and calm when life is spinning out of control
  • Create life balance to avoid caregiver burnout
  • Clear out emotional clutter for lasting inner peace
  • Find peace in the face of death and grieving
  • Use Self-Coaching Session at the end of each chapter to personalize your learning and action steps
A Prescription for Stress-Free Living (Audio CD)

In the modern world where most people have hectic schedules and juggling multiple responsibilities, stress seems like an inevitable element in life that we have to live with. Maybe you have tried to alleviate stress by deep breathing, exercise, yoga, massage, shopping, but the relief is temporary. Or maybe you resort to other unhealthy coping behaviors, such as drinking, smoking, drugs, emotional eating, gambling, and end up creating more stress and problems. It is time to try something that works.
In this audio program, you will learn:

  • The anatomy of stress — where does your stress come from, what’s your default reaction, and how effective (or ineffective) your coping strategies are
  • The underlying root cause of your stress — it’s not what you think
  • Self-Care Deficiency Syndrome — what it is, what are the symptoms and consequences, and what can you do about it
  • Why most stress relief strategies only provide temporary relief, and what can you do instead to for long-lasting freedom from the devastating effects of chronic stress
  • The powerful 3-prong approach I use to help my clients relieve chronic stress, create more joy and balance in every area of their lives
  • 3 powerful questions that will shift your energy from stress to peace instantly
  • Empowering mindset shift to help you handle any crisis
  • Principles to live by for stress-free living
Learn to Say No Stress Relief CDLearn to Say NO, So You Can Say YES to Your Life (Audio CD)

Many people feel tremendously anxious or guilty when they have to say NO to other people’s requests. They feel obligated to say YES, and end up feeling over-scheduled, overwhelmed, stressed out, and even resentful. Can you relate to this?We all have 24 hours a day. When you say YES to something, you are saying NO to something else. In order to live a balanced life, you need to set your priorities straight, and set good boundaries by saying NO to some requests and/or invitations.

In this audio program you will learn:

  • the root cause of WHY you can’t say no
  • why changing behaviors alone will not work
  • what kind of “Wrong Equations” you’ve created around saying no
  • get clear about what you want to say no to
  • how to deal with guilt, fears, anxiety when you say no
  • the 7-step process to turn negative emotions into positive actions
  • the critical 6-second window to avoid being hijacked by your emotions
  • the ONE question you can use to take control of your emotions
  • strategies and tactics to help you say no
  • how to build on the insights you learn for lasting changes

Give Yourself and/or Someone You Care the Gift of Self-Love Today!!

As you can see, each one of these is very powerful on its own, and each provides practical tools and strategies to help you reduce stress, nurture yourself so you will have more to give to your loved ones. In celebration of Valentine’s Day and the National Heart Health Month (February), I’m offering these 3 products as a special bundle just for you!!

This is a perfect gift for Valentine’s Day and EVERYDAY!!

Regular Price for all 3 Products is $60.00

The Valentine’s Bundle Special Pricing: $47.00
(PLUS discounted shipping for this special LIMITED-TIME OFFER)


Click Here to Browse Other Products in My Store


About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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