Putting Myself Back in the Game
It was the New Jersey International Wushu Tournament. I was competing in the long fist forms division. All eyes were on me and the other competitor on the floor with me. Even though I only had 3 weeks of practice before the tournament, I was feeling great and doing well with my form.
Then my worst nightmare happened.
I remember glancing at the other competitor on the floor with me and noticed she had finished her form. We performed different forms, and hers was so much shorter than mine. I remember thinking to myself: “Wow, she is already done? I’m only half way through my form!” When you are competing in tournaments, martial arts or otherwise, it’s extremely important to stay 100% focused and not pay attention to other competitors. However, for a second or two, I was thinking about the other woman and took my focus off my own form. Before I knew it, it happened.
There I was, standing in the middle of the gym, all eyes on me, and I went BLANK. It was like an out-of-body experience. I couldn’t think. I dared not look around. I didn’t even remember the last move I did. My mind was blank except the scream in my head that grew louder and louder: “Oh my God!!! OH MY GOD!!!”
Years ago, I competed in state and regional tournaments, won many gold & silver medals, and this had never happened to me. Of course, I had always allowed at least 3 months to train for any tournaments, and had my form down completely. This time, however, I only had 3 weeks to prepare, and I didn’t even mean to compete in the first place!
Three months ago, my children started learning Wushu, one of many styles of Chinese Kung Fu. They both picked it up quickly, and seeing how much fun they were having, I decided to join them. Taking Wushu became one of our shared interests and fun time together. When the tournament was announced, I didn’t think my children had enough training and there was just not enough time to prepare. However, a few weeks later, when I heard a bunch of other kids from our school were going to compete, I re-considered and decided to sign them up. Since we only had 3 weeks left until the tournament, I decided to train with them. My intention was to learn the form so I could help them. Ironically, my children learned the form so quickly while I was struggling at the beginning to memorize the moves. The first training session, we were taught 45 moves, some of them brand new to us, and that’s only less than half of the entire form!! The Gremlin in my head was screaming “NO WAY! I can’t possibly learn ALL this!! I can’t do it!! Nobody can get ready for tournament in 3 weeks!! This is totally CRAZY!!”
On top of that, my body was screaming too!! Before learning Wushu, I had not trained or exercised much at all for more than a year. I kind of “let myself go” and my physical fitness and energy level really suffered. Even though I still looked thin, I was really out of shape compared to my old self. My body was hurting and I couldn’t breathe right. I felt defeated and sad that I’ve let myself go.
Every training session, my Gremlin continued to bombard me with “I CAN’T” messages. I had to keep telling him to shut up and keep telling myself I can do this!! It’s like a silent screaming match up there!! The Black Belt in me gradually woke up and I was determined to learn this form. I continued to struggle and train every day, and finally, my mind and body “clicked” and I learned the form. Finally I was able to do the entire form on my own and without running out of breath. My confidence grew when I realized that my form was not bad at all. As the tournament came up, the excitement drew me in. The day before the tournament, I decided to compete. I was feeling great on the tournament day, even though I still had a trace of doubt and fear that I might forget my form. I even visualized holding the medal in my hand.
It doesn’t matter now. I was totally STUCK!! It felt like I was stuck there for ETERNITY!! (Actually, when I watched the video afterward, that moment was less than 3 seconds, but it sure FELT like eternity when it happened.)
I had watched my children compete earlier and they both did very well, even though it was their very first martial arts tournament. They didn’t forget their forms at all. Now it was my turn, and I was the one forgetting! Am I going to cry like the other kids who also forgot their forms? How embarrassing!! How do I get myself out of this? I wish I could just disappear and erase everybody’s memory of watching my form, but that wasn’t one of my super powers.
After what felt like eternity, I somehow put myself back together and finished my form. SO glad it was over!! I cringed as the judges gave out the scores. It was not bad at all, despite my mistake. Whew!! What a relief!!
In the end, my daughter won a silver medal, and I got a gold. It was my daughter’s very first medal and she was overjoyed!! Both my daughter and son have worked very hard for this tournament and I’m SO proud of them!!
I’m very proud of myself too. Out of all my gold medals, this one is very special. Not only did I challenge myself and accomplished what seemed to be Mission Impossible, I proved to myself that I could still triumph after a HUGE mistake. The old me would have felt so embarrassed and ashamed that I would have been completely paralyzed. But the new me focused on “How do I get myself out of this?” My mind had to quickly switch to problem-solving mode and it got me unstuck.
In addition, the referee that was in charge of giving out medals made a mistake, and did not give my gold medal to me. The old me would have assumed that they were right and cost myself a gold medal. However, I decided to speak up and double-check. As it turned out, I was not the only one who almost missed my medal. Two other children in my school were supposed to win gold and silver medals! I’m so proud of myself for speaking up!!
The biggest lesson I have learned is that I must put myself in the game in order to win. If I had listened to my Gremlin, I would’ve believed that it was impossible for me to learn the form or get ready for the tournament in 3 weeks. I would have given up before the tournament and probably even talked my children out of it. If I didn’t believe in myself, I wouldn’t have decided to compete at all, and my chance of winning any medal would have been ZERO.
How about you? Do you stay in the game with full commitment and determination? Do you stick to the end, no matter what setbacks you encounter? Or do you let your Gremlin take you out of the game before it even starts?
More importantly, who do you need to be, in order to win the prize?
In the News: Author Hueina Su Featured in Natural Health Magazine
More Than Good Intentions
Author and life coach Hueina Su, President of Denville-based Beyond Horizon Coaching, is featured in the February 2010 issue of Natural Health Magazine, in an article titled Good Intentions.
Hueina Su featured in Natural Health Magazine
DENVILLE, NJ — February 24, 2010 – Tired of setting New Year’s Resolutions — and beating yourself up when you’ve lost sight of them come March? This year can be different. The secret: Set New Year’s intentions, not resolutions. “Few of us are able to stick to our resolutions because we remember previous attempts at self-improvement, and it brings up negative thoughts and emotions,” says Hueina Su, author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Souls: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others and president of Denville-based Beyond Horizon Coaching.
Su is featured in a two-page spread article titled Good Intentions, in the February 2010 issue of Natural Health magazine. Even though the article is titled Good Intentions, Su stresses, “It takes more than good intentions to achieve your goals.” In this exclusive interview with Natural Health magazine, Su offers the following strategies to achieve your 2010 goals.
Focus on the positive — Instead of trying to fix a negative in your life, state your goal in a positive way. For example, instead of “I need to lose 15 pounds”, say “I will get leaner and stronger.”
Prioritize — Address your goals one at the time according to their importance. Which one will have the greatest impact on your happiness and success?
Get clear about the why — Digging for the real reason you are trying to achieve something will give your goal a more meaningful value and help you overcome potential roadblocks or setbacks.
Be specific – An action plan needs to be specific and achievable. Make a list of the necessary tasks and resources you’ll need to hit the end goal, then create an action plan for what you will do every day, breaking it down into small, doable steps.
Stay open for help – Never underestimate the power of community when it comes to achieving goals, whether it’s a workout buddy, mentor or life coach to hold you accountable and keep you motivated.
Celebrate your wins – record your efforts and your wins every day. Celebrating your successes will help you track your progress, fine-tune your action plan and stay motivated until you reach your goals.
“Working with a professional life coach is a great way to get the kind of support you need to get over the inevitable roadblocks,” say Su, “With the right mindset, action plan and support, your chance of reaching your goals this year will greatly increase.”
About Hueina Su and Beyond Horizon Coaching
Hueina Su, MS, BSN, CEC, The Nurturer’s CoachTM, is a renowned expert in helping people restore the missing peace and balance in their stressful lives. Su is a professional keynote speaker, certified life coach, and author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others. She is the creator of Rx for BalanceTM, The Coaching OasisTM, and Nurture and Grow RichTM programs.
Su is the founder and president of Beyond Horizon Coaching, a global coaching and training company, specializing in providing solutions for work-life balance, stress management, and Intensive Self-Care through personal coaching, executive coaching, teleseminars, keynote presentations, team-building training, and other wellness services.
To sign up for free stress management video e-course and learn more about Su’s coaching, keynote speaking and training services, visit www.HueinaSu.com.
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Note: Hueina Su’s full bio and additional photos are at http://www.hueinasu.com/media-room
She is available for interviews and can provide a list of tips and other articles. Call 973-664-0446 or email Hueina [at] BeyondHorizonCoaching.com.
Get IT Done on Power Action Day
Power Action Day
Are you ready to wrap up this year feeling satisfied and COMPLETE?
OR
Does the thought of ending yet another year makes you anxious, depressed, or give you a panic attack?
If you’re like most people I know, you probably have a few “loose ends” you’d like to tie BEFORE New Year’s Day rolls in. Me too!
Have you got a PLAN to finish what you promised yourself (or someone else) that you would complete this year?
OR
Are you feeling overwhelmed about HOW to finish your projects, so you can close the book of 2009 feeling GOOD about yourself?
Well, I’ve got a solution for you!
I know how frustrated it is to go through another year feeling like you have failed somehow, because you did not complete certain tasks you set out to do. I’ve been there and I know it does not feel good to beat yourself up! That’s why I’ve created this solution and I’m giving this as a GIFT to you!!
LIGHT, CAMERA, ACTION
Imagine…. If there is a camera crew following YOU around all day, watching your every move while you work, do you think you will be more alert, more focused, working harder AND getting more results?
More likely you will.
You see, most people don’t achieve their goals. That’s a sad fact. Even if you are crystal clear about your goal, have a GREAT ACTION, and the BEST INTENTION to achieve your goal, chances are, there are at least 2 things that could trip you and keep you from getting IT done (whatever IT is). These 2 things are:
Lack of FOCUS
Lack of COMMITMENT
Nowadays, with so many electronic “assistants” and mile-long to-do lists that everyone seems to have, it’s hard not to feel like ADD at least on some days!! It’s so easy to get distracted and chase after the Shinny Penny, instead of following your path toward the Million-Dollar Goal. I know, I’ve been there, done that.
On the other hand, you might promise yourself or someone else to do something, and end up not completing the task. Oftentimes, you didn’t keep your commitment because there is little or no accountability for you. Research has proven that when we make a commitment to others, we are more likely to keep that commitment, versus a commitment we make to ourselves.
So, what’s the solution?
Enter Power Action Day.
Power Action Day is a day of high productivity. It’s a special day you get the support AND accountability from me (your coach) and a small mastermind group, so you can stay FOCUSED and GET IT DONE!!!
Here is how it works:
Power Action Day is a time for you to FOCUS and COMPLETE activities that you’ve been putting off.
2. At 9:00 am we will call in the conference bridgeline. We will set our intention and everyone will announce their goals for the day, and how they will reward themselves for completing their goals.
3. Throughout the day (every 2 hours) we will have check-in calls for you & everyone in the group to check in and report your progress to the group. This will help keep your FOCUS and COMMITMENT to stay on track and complete your tasks.
4. Check-in calls (5-minute each) will be held at 9, 11, 1, 3, 5 p.m. Eastern. Our last call will be at 5:00 p.m. Eastern. Try to dial in one minute prior to the hour so that you’ll be ready to go at the top of the hour.
5. We will take 5 minutes (or less) to quickly go around the “virtual room” to share what we intend to complete during the remaining 1 hour 55 minutes. You will state your name and what you intend to complete during that time in about 30 seconds or less — then we go to the next person.
6. After everyone has shared, we’ll hang up and then we’ll have 1 hour 55 minutes to work on what we said we intend to work on.
7. Then we dial in, again, at the next call-in time and state what we completed and what we will complete for the next two hour period. Our last call will be at 5:00 p.m. Eastern. At that time, you’ll share what you completed and how you’ll reward yourself for a day of productivity!
8. If you can’t join us for every call-in, that’s okay. Join as you can. Remember to call in one minute early so that you can be ready to go at the top of the hour.
Some things you might work on …
- Strategic planning for 2010
- Write up your bio/profile for posting on a social networking site
- Design a new class or product
- Write articles, blog posts, or your book
- Read a book you’ve been meaning to read, whether it’s related to something in your business or personal growth
- Start gathering your tax materials or start working on your business taxes
- Return client calls, follow-up with prospects, or call a family/friend you’ve been meaning to call
- Write a press release
- Clean out your email box, office, closet, kitchen, or any room in your house
- Write thank you notes, holiday cards or a letter to someone you care about
- Contact various venues for your next event
- Sort through all of your regular mail, files, paperwork
- Organize your office
- Complete client-related work
- File paperwork
- Home improvement projects
- Go to the gym
- Other … pick your favorite task and get it done
Small Business Owners – A Deadly Mistake to Avoid & 3 Must-Do for Business Success
Hueina Su was interviewed on CW-TV about small business success.
