Tune in Today for My Radio Interview at Her Unfolding Journey

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Tune in at 1pm ET TODAY May 5th for my radio interview at Her Unfolding Journey radio show with host Mark Semple. We’ll talk about how I claimed my Peaceful Power on my journey and how you can too. Join us!

Replay will be available at the same link.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/earthangelsradio/2012/05/05/her-unfolding-journey-guest-hueina-su

Listen to internet radio with Earth Angels Radio on Blog Talk Radio

Is Your Perfectionism Keeping You Stuck?

If you are a high-achiever, you always aim for excellence and achievement. You don’t mind working extra hard, going the extra mile in order to achieve your goals. However, in the name of pursuing excellence, it’s very common for high-achievers to fall prey to perfectionism. There’s a fine line between being excellent and being perfect. The desire to be excellent motivates you to move forward and be the best you can be. On the flip side, the need to be perfect fills you with anxiety and self-doubt, runs you ragged and keeps you stuck.

Your Inner Perfectionist may sound like this:

• I have to be perfect OR ELSE!
• If I’m not perfect, I’m a complete failure.
• People are waiting for me to fail and they will laugh at me.
• I’m not trying hard enough, otherwise I would’ve been perfect.
• Why can’t I pull it off like “everybody else”? What’s wrong with me?
• If I’m not perfect, nobody will love me.
• I can’t afford to make any mistakes.
• I have to be the best in everything I do.
• I’m so afraid of making the wrong choices or wrong moves that I’ve lost confidence in myself.
• If I can’t make it perfect (or, If I’m not sure I can succeed), why do I even bother getting started?
• If I don’t finish it, I won’t have to find out how imperfect (what a loser) I am.

Does it sound familiar? How does reading these statements make you FEEL – physically and emotionally? Do you tend to set impossibly high standards for yourself (and others) and beat yourself up over and over for not reaching your goals? If you feel anxious, frustrated, stuck in analysis paralysis, chest tightening, hyperventilating, paralyzed by fear of failure, with an extra dose of self-doubt or even self-loathing, you are probably a perfectionist. And the higher your aspirations are, the more severely affected you would be by perfectionism. The more successful you are, the more problematic perfectionism would manifest in your life, your health, your relationships and career/business.

Be honest: Is your Inner Perfectionist running you ragged these days? I know, because I’ve been there myself.

Last week I was invited by my Taiwanese sister Andrea J. Lee to speak via video at her 2012 The Wealthy Thought Leader event. Andrea asked me to share my experience in The Keeper of the Keys movie (which I costar with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff), and offer advice for attendees who are considering a movie project like this in the future.

If you are in the coaching & personal development industry, you’d know it’s a great honor to be included in Andrea’s Wealthy Thought Leader event. Andrea is known for teaching thought leaders on how to stay ahead of the curve, make money AND meaning via innovation. Her annual Wealthy Thought Leader event (it’s her 4th this year) in Vancouver, B.C. always attracts high-caliber speakers and thought leaders from all over the world. So, imagine my joy and surprise when I got a message from Andrea inviting me to share my experience at her event. And since she asked for a video sharing, I don’t even have to worry about flying over there. I was so excited!

There’s only one caveat: I got Andrea’s email on Sunday night, asking me if I can send her my video by Tuesday, or the latest Wednesday (her event starts on Thursday morning).

“Oh, I wish I had more time to work on this!!” my Inner Perfectionist piped up right away.

I assured her, “That’s okay, it’s only a very short video (5 min) and we can make it.” She insisted, “But, Hueina, this is your very first contact with Andrea’s community, and there will be so many accomplished thought leaders there. You want to make a perfect first impression. It’s very important, you know.” Well, first impression IS important. I can’t argue with that!

Then, my Inner Good Girl chimed in, “And Hueina, it’s such an honor that Andrea asked you to do this. It’s important to her and you don’t want to disappoint her.” The Inner Good Girl is the one who always wants to be a “good girl” and do good. She is all concerned about being proper, doing things right and making others happy (often at the cost of her own well-being). I started to feel a little pressure on my chest. Well, I do want to give Andrea and her community a great video that brings value to them; however, I do not want to get stressed out over this.

Been there, done there. Not again.

Instead, my intention was to make this video with JOY and offer it as my gift to Andrea and her community. I wanted to have a little FUN in the process as well (fun is one of my highest core values). Knowing the persuasive power of my Inner Perfectionist, and fully aware of my time constraints, I made a deal with her right off the bat. I told her that I agreed with her that we wanted to present a high-quality video that represents me well, and brings high value for Andrea’s community. On the other hand, I made it clear to her that we needed to stick to my schedule and honor my other business and family commitments (and it goes without saying that I would keep my self-care as well). AND, I wanted to aim for being professional and authentic, NOT perfect.

With the ground rules set, I looked at my business and family schedule, and picked out a couple small blocks of time for this project. I knew I most likely won’t be able to record and edit the video in one sitting. Trying to do everything all at once would probably tire me out. On the other hand, I knew I had to give myself and my Inner Perfectionist a deadline, otherwise I’ll be spending WAY too much time and energy working on “perfecting” the video. Can you relate to this?

So, my Inner Perfectionist and I went to work – first in our head, planning out what we’d like to share based on Andrea’s questions. As it turned out, it’s not easy to condense all I wanted to share in 5 minutes, without feeling rushed or speaking at a frantic pace (that wouldn’t be peaceful or powerful, would it?) The creative in me had so many ideas, and I wouldn’t and couldn’t settle for a boring “talking head” video. So, I decided to include a snippet of The Keeper of the Keys movie trailer, and used a short clip of my segment in the movie to illustrate my point of telling deeply personal story in a powerful way. By the way, that’s how you can connect with the audience, stand out and be memorable.

I was excited by this new idea, so I planned out the video and recorded my speaking part. Next is the editing part – stringing everything together. Of course, every step of the way, my Inner Perfectionist was by my side, relentlessly reminding me to be perfect and fiercely pointing out my flaws. Every time she did that, I thanked her for trying to help and patiently but firmly reminded her the ground rules we’ve agreed on. Reminding myself my intention to bring value instead of trying to create a perfect video really helped. When I used up the time I’ve set for myself to complete this project, I saved the video, and sent it to Andrea right away. She told me she loved the video and they way I’ve designed it, with commentary and snippets of the movie trailer as well as my story. When she showed the video at The Wealthy Thought Leader event last Friday, I got so many praises and accolades from the live audience as well as simulcast attendees. Even days after I still got messages from Facebook thanking me for my sharing.

So, what can you learn from my experience? Here are 7 tips for overcoming perfectionism:

1. When opportunity knocks, you need to take decisively swift action. Successful people are action-takers. The rule of thumb is, ALWAYS SAY YES first, then figure out how to get it done.

2. Set a clear intention before you commit to or start a new project. What do you intend to achieve as the end result? (hint: aim for anything but absolute perfection.) Also, what do you intend to experience in the process and as a result of this project? For example, joy, fun, connecting with others, learning something new, making a difference, feeling proud of yourself, etc.

3. Set a clear time frame for you to work on the project. This is for you if you have a tendency to not finish your project, procrastinate like crazy, or spend FOREVER trying to make it perfect.

4. Before you start anything, set ground rules for yourself and your Inner Perfectionist, and firmly reinforce these rules. In my coaching, I teach my clients specific ways to communicate with their Inner Perfectionists and turn them into helpers, not tyrants who boss them around until they are totally run down.

5. Acknowledge and praise yourself for your efforts and progress (no matter how little), not just the end result. Practice loving kindness and Intensive Self-Care.

6. Know that your Inner Perfectionist (with her magnifying glass and white cotton gloves) is probably the only one who can see your flaws. To other people, you are probably quite amazing.

7. Remember, good enough is good enough. If you are offering something (be it your words or gifts of any kind), as long as it’s from your heart and you have done your best, it’s more than good enough.

So there you have it. My 7 tips for overcoming perfectionism. There’s no extra charge for the typos.

Here’s the video I shared at The Wealthy Thought Leader event, which included snippets of The Keeper of the Keys movie trailer and MY segment in the movie. Check it out!!

If the video player does not work, use this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt10J1VljxE

P.S. If you are stumped by perfectionism, you might have other Invisible Chaos too! Sign up for my FREE Claim Your Peaceful Power Success Activation Kit and learn how to tame your Invisible Chaos for lasting inner peace, joy and true confidence.

P.P.S. You can order The Keeper of the Keys DVD on my website here.

Passion and Purpose – Why I Almost Went Postal

There’s nothing like a birthday that makes you pause and reflect on your life. One particular memory stood out for me this year. It was March 21, 2005, just a few days before my birthday. My husband Carey and I officially swore in and became U.S. citizens. It was a long process and so much preparation went into getting our citizenship. So on this day, we were both excited and happy that our efforts had finally paid off, and that we would reap the benefits of better future and more opportunities for us and our children.

On our way home, we were both in high spirit. That’s when it happened.

My husband turned to me and said, “Now that you’ve got your citizenship, you can get a government job, like the post office.” I couldn’t believe what I just heard! I felt my blood was reaching the boiling point, yet I was SO mad that I couldn’t utter a word. Even with my “death stare”, dear hubby seemed totally oblivious (typical man). He continued, “well, you know, you can also consider the bank. They are always hiring tellers.” OUCH! That really hurt my feelings!

You see, I gave up my career as a college counselor when my daughter was about one year old, and my son was born about 2 years later. I was a stay-at-home-mom for a couple years, then started a home-based business and doing freelance jobs. Back in 2005, I had stayed home with our two young children for a few years, and Carey had asked me several times when I would return to work (i.e. a full-time J.O.B.). After staying home for a few years, I wasn’t sure what career I wanted to pursue, and I wasn’t confident that I could return to my previous career. Let’s face it, being a stay-at-home-mom is not a confidence-booster for career-minded high-achieving women. Besides, I wanted to find something that would allow me to work around my children’s schedules. So, a regular 9-to-5 J.O.B. wouldn’t no longer work. I did not want to settle. After months of soul-searching, I still had no clarity about my career path. Until my dear friend Heather told me about life coaching, and I eventually enrolled in iPEC Coaching and became a Certified Empowerment Coach.

On the day I got my citizenship, I was just enrolled in the coaching school. I was so excited about my future career – one that I feel combines my past education, training and experience in nursing, counseling and healing people. So imagine my surprise when dear hubby suggested I find a job at the post office!

To be frank, if it wasn’t because he was driving the car, I would’ve most definitely kicked him where it hurt MOST. And believe me, as a Black Belt in Tae Kwan Do, I have a powerful kick!!

After fuming for a while (you know how women are), I finally blurted out, “I can’t believe you said that!!! Post office? Why don’t I get a job as a grocery store cashier then?” I felt humiliated and hurt. He didn’t believe in me. I didn’t moved all the way from Asia to get my master’s degree, just to end up sorting mails here.

No offense to postal workers. It’s an important and respectable job. It’s just not something that’s aligned with my passion, purpose or talents. I know I’ll become bored and resentful very quickly, and it might just kill what little self-confidence I had left.

The last thing I wanted was to settle and compromise myself. And I’m so glad I didn’t. I became a Certified Empowerment Coach, best-selling author and international keynote speaker. I get to do what I love and make a difference in the world every day. My children, now 16 and 14, are amazing young people and very close to me because I’ve been home with/for them. And my husband Carey has become my biggest fan. Now he totally believes in my vision and support my work in so many ways. I’m truly grateful for him!

How about you? Are your life and work aligned with your passion, purpose and talents? Is your job feeding your soul, or draining your life force?

If you are currently at a job that depletes you, ask yourself why. Are you staying at this job because you are not sure what you really want? Or is it because of fear (fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown etc)? Are you settling because you think that’s being responsible to your family, or, are you using your family as an excuse not to pursue your dream?

Oftentimes we feel that we have to be responsible to our family, at the cost of our own well-being and happiness. Self-sacrifice, as I wrote in my Amazon bestseller Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul, is a virtue for many people, especially heart-centered women. It’s also a surefire way to Self-Care Deficiency Syndrome, a host of physical, emotional and relationship problems. Let me give you a reframe here. If you are sacrificing your core values and well-being, you are not being responsible to yourself – your higher self. Of course, being a parent, some sacrifice and compromises are required. There is constant give-and-take in marriage too. But, there is a difference between healthy give-and-take and complete sacrifice of your happiness, core values, well-being and even who you are. Can you tell the difference?

So, if you are currently at a job that depletes you, what’s the first step you can take to move toward a career that’s more aligned with WHO you are and give you more JOY? Maybe it’s getting clear on what you really want. Maybe you need to take classes or learn new skills for your new career. Maybe you need to polish your resume. Maybe you need to block out time to write or start your business. Or even just allow yourself 10 minutes to daydream. No matter how tiny a baby step you can take, do it. Begin today.

If you need some ideas and action steps for successful midlife career change, check out my audio CD “Changing Lanes: Secrets of Successful Midlife Career Change” on my website. You will learn:

• 4 myths that lead to job dissatisfaction
• 4 mistakes people make in career change
• how to decide whether to stay or change your career
• what you must look for in your new career to ensure your happiness
• the proactive steps to take for a successful midlife career change

If you are stuck in analysis paralysis, you might also love “Effortless Decision-Making Strategies for the Indecisive“ which teaches you:

• the underlying reasons why you are indecisive
• 3 questions you can ask yourself when you’re stuck
• the 10-second technique to bring clarity in decision-making
• one critical factor to ensure better decision-making and less regrets for you
• tips and tools to help you make up your mind so you can move forward

All my books, CDs & movie DVDs are available here: www.HueinaSu.com/store. Today is the LAST day of my birthday celebration sale. Everything is 20% off (use Coupon Code 201203). Plus, if your order total is $50 or more (after the 20% discount) you will also receive a copy of The Venus Evolution Global Telesummit MP3 recordings ($77 value).

If you need further support through coaching, I’m here for you. Simply drop me an email at info [at] HueinaSu.com with the subject line “coaching consult” and I will send you the details.

No matter where you are on your journey, I wish you a year filled with JOY and fulfilling success!

Who Do You Think You Are?

“Who are YOU?” said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.”
– Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Who do you think you are? You must have heard this question directed at you many times (perhaps even several times a day). Sometimes it’s from someone who is, for whatever reason, not pleased (or downright furious) with you. It could be your spouse, your boss/coworker, your teenage kids, your patients/students/customers, or even total strangers. Maybe you did or say something they didn’t like. Maybe you didn’t live up to their expectations or go by their rules. Maybe you tried to be innovative, instead of following the conventional wisdom. Maybe you told them you wanted to pursue your dream, claim your expertise, start a new business, write a book, go back to school, change the world, or just do something nice for yourself for a change. Maybe you tried to speak your mind or show your true colors. Maybe you wanted to blaze your own trail, instead of following the tradition. Maybe you just wanted to be yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin.

You might even hear the question “Who (the heck) do you think YOU are?” combined with finger-pointing, eye-rolling or other gestures. You might feel angry, hurt, embarrassed, misunderstood, guilty, ashamed, insecure, unworthy or unloved. Then you either fight back, lash out at someone else, or withdraw. You give up what you want for what THEY want.

Sometimes, the question doesn’t come from other people. What you hear is a demanding, condescending voice from “The Judge” in your head. He is sitting high up, mad as hell, pounding on his gavel, reaching forward and pointing a finger SO close to your nose. “Who do you think YOU are?” he demands with authority. It doesn’t matter how old or accomplished you are, all of a sudden, you lost your calm and confidence. You feel so small. You just want to shrink down to the ground and be invisible. You retreat back to your comfort zone and status quo, even though deep inside you feel miserable and suffocated.

I bet you are familiar with the voices in your head. In my last post, How to Find Peace When You Feel Out of Control, I talked about the cynical, nasty comments from my “Evil Stepmother”, calling me lazy and shaming me when I was sick with a bad cold and decided to rest. Yup, they tend to take a cheap shot at you when you are weakened. That’s the way Gremlins work. Even I am not immune. The Gremlins are part of the Invisible Chaos that’s the underlying root cause of most people’s stress, anxiety, self-doubt, low self-esteem and self-sabotage. That’s why it’s so important to learn how to tame your Invisible Chaos. And this is not a do-it-once-and-you-are-done kind of deal. Every day we encounter many challenges and chaos in our life, that could trigger the Invisible Chaos that’s lurking in our subconscious mind and at our cellular level. You need to learn how to tame your Invisible Chaos and make it a regular practice for your long-lasting inner peace, true self-confidence, and optimal success. By the way, if you don’t know the 8 Invisible Chaos and how to tame them, make sure you sign up for my FREE Taming the Invisible Chaos 7-part video & audio course.

Sometimes, you might hear yourself ask “Who am I?” and found yourself as stumped as Alice in Wonderland. You have changed so many times, like Alice, and you are not sure who you TRULY are any more. You might know who you WERE before…. before you got married, before you had kids, before you got laid off, before you gave up your 6-figure corporate executive job to be a stay-at-home-mom, before you got divorced, before you gained all that weight, before you gave up a secure job with benefit to start your own business, before you had cancer, before you turned 40 (or 50 or 60), before you lost a loved one, etc. But now, you are not so sure any more. Maybe you had achieved a great deal before, but now, you question your every decision. You used to be confident and now you no longer trust yourself.

After major life challenges and transitions, your confidence and self-esteem can take a beating. But sometimes, even without any major challenge or setback, you could still gradually lose your self. Especially when you don’t honor yourself completely, you end up giving your true self away little by little. Then one day you look in the mirror, and you can barely recognize yourself.

I’ve seen and worked with many people like that. They lost their self-esteem, confidence, passion and purpose. They don’t know who they are any more. It’s truly tragic. They ask: “Who am I when I’m no longer being/doing/having xyz?” and “How can I still be loveable/worthy when I’m no longer being/doing/having xyz?” Sounds familiar?

These people have identity crisis. The thing is, change of identity, even when it’s due to a positive change (such as getting married, becoming a parent, losing weight) can be very stressful, especially when you are very attached to that identity.

The antidote? Remember the truth of who you are. You are NOT your income, your diploma or job title. You are NOT your possessions, your social status, or your achievements. You are NOT your body, your illness or the roles you play. Your mind or intelligence is not who you are, either.

There is a part of you that does not change, no matter how much your appearance, income, marital status or other circumstances change. It will never diminish, no matter how many challenges you encounter or how many mistakes you make. In fact, nothing can destroy it. This part of you knows that you are a beloved darling princess (or prince) of the Universe, a divine child of God. This is your True Self, your Higher Self. When you are deeply rooted in your True Self, your essence, nobody and nothing in the world can disturb your inner peace, and you are most powerful. That’s the Peaceful Power I’ve been talking about. When you claim your Peaceful Power, what other people think of you is irrelevant. You listen to your inner wisdom instead of blindly following other people’s rules. You are totally at peace, grounded and naturally confident. You know you are worthy of all the love, joy and abundance in the world. And you do not need to change yourself or prove anything to anyone, in order to deserve that. You can FINALLY be yourself. As the adage goes, the truth will set you free.

Want to learn how to claim your Peaceful Power? I will be announcing a group coaching program to help you do just that very soon, so stay tuned. In the meantime, make sure you sign up for my FREE Claim Your Peaceful Power Success Activation Kit, so you can start your first steps, and be on the priority list to receive advance notice about my upcoming program.

Hueina Su and Marci Shimoff Speak on the Key of Vibration, Self Love, and Authenticity at “The Keeper of the Keys” Documentary Film Premiere

Hueina Su & Marci Shimoff On the Red Carpet

Best-selling author Hueina Su and co-star New York Times best-selling author Marci Shimoff were interviewed on the Key of Vibration, love, happiness, and being true and authentic self at “The Keeper of the Keys” movie red-carpet premiere.

Best-selling author, motivational keynote speaker and self-help expert Hueina Su was interviewed on the red carpet at the Las Vegas premiere of the ground-breaking self-help film “The KEEPER of the KEYS” along with her co-star Marci Shimoff, New York Times best-selling author of “Happy for No Reason”, “Love for No Reason” and “Chicken Soup for the Women’s Soul” series.

Hueina Su, MS, BSN, CEC, is a mindful wellness and women’s empowerment expert, international keynote speaker, certified life coach, and the best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others and the upcoming Peaceful Power: A Prescription for Long-Lasting Inner Peace, True Happiness and Unstoppable Success. Su is the president and founder of Beyond Horizon Coaching in Denville, New Jersey.

“The Keeper of the Keys” movie has already earned accolades in the industry. Stephen Simon, co-founder of Spiritual Cinema Circle and acclaimed producer of hit movies such as What Dreams May Come and Somewhere in Time, said, “The Keeper of The Keys is the most innovative and entertaining film of its kind ever made. Wildly original, howlingly funny, fast-paced, and utterly delightful in every way, the film is truly a gift to the world. True to its ad copy, the film takes ‘the hell out of self-help’ and is the new gold standard in its genre. When you see this movie, you will learn, laugh, and clap your hands with joy!” Simon is in the process of licensing the movie DVD for April 2012 release to its members in 65 countries.

Su and Shimoff were interviewed by “Elvis” (Steve Connolly) on The Key of Vibration, love, happiness, and being true and authentic self.

Su said, “You hold the keys to your life. To attain any kind of success, joy or happiness, you have work on yourself first. You have to master yourself and become who you truly are instead of trying to go after something external or material. The path to success and happiness is coming from inside.”

Shimoff followed on with her comments: The most important key is the Key of Vibration. Everything on this plant is energy and vibration. The highest vibration is the Vibration of Love. If we access that inner state of love, our life changes for ourselves, our family, and the world. It’s love.

Watch the red-carpet interview of Hueina Su and Marci shimoff at “The Keeper of the Keys” movie premiere:

For more information about the movie, visit http://www.HueinaSu.com/store.

About Hueina Su and Beyond Horizon Coaching
Hueina Su, MS, BSN, CEC, is an internationally recognized expert in helping people find the missing peace and power in their stressful lives. Su is a Mindful Wellness and Women’s Empowerment Expert, international keynote speaker, certified life coach and the best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others and the upcoming Peaceful Power: A Prescription for Long-Lasting Inner Peace, True Happiness and Unstoppable. She is on a mission to empower one million heart-centered, high-achieving women nurturers to nurture their true self, succeed on their own terms, and create a life of their choice.

Su is the founder and president of Beyond Horizon Coaching, a global coaching and training company, specializing in providing solutions for mindful wellness, stress management, and women’s empowerment through personal coaching, executive coaching, teleseminars, keynote presentations, team-building training, and other wellness services. She is the creator of Rx for BalanceTM, The Coaching OasisTM, Nurture and Grow RichTM, The Venus EvolutionTM and Mindful Wellness Coaching for Cancer Survivors programs.

Su is a co-star in a personal development movie The Keeper of the Keys with Jack Canfield, creator of Chicken Soup for the Soul® series and star of The Secret movie, Marci Shimoff, New York Times best-selling author of Happy for No Reason and star of The Secret movie, and John Gray, New York Times best-selling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus and star of The Secret movie.

To sign up for free stress management video e-course and learn more about Su’s keynote speaking, coaching, training, consulting and products visit http://www.HueinaSu.com/media-room.

She is available for interviews and can provide a list of tips and other articles. Call 973-664-0446 (O) or 201-572-3641 (Cell) or email Hueina at HueinaSu.com.

“The Keeper of the Keys Movie” “Hueina Su” “Jack Canfield” “Marci Shimoff” “John Gray” “The Secret” “Law of Attraction” “Life Coach” “Keynote Speaker” “Inspirational Speaker” “self love” “self confidence” “self esteem” “faith” “courage” “Stephen Simon” “inner peace” “life balance” “stress management” “life coach” “motivation” “motivational speakers” “Las Vegas” “Hollywood” “Spiritual Cinema Circle” “Robin Jay” “Scott Cervine” “True Self” “Chicken Soup for the Soul” “Love for No Reason” “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” “Happy for No Reason”

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