Have You Made THE Shift Yet?

Start a Legacy
Four days ago (March 11th), Google CFO Patrick Pichette announced that, after nearly 7 years as CFO, he is retiring in order to spend more time with his family. His heartfelt letter of resignation blew up the Internet and inspired many discussions and articles about work life balance and honoring one’s core values.

On the same day, my daughter received a wonderful news that she was named as a recipient of the Rutgers 2015 Academic Excellence Award. This award is given by the university to the top 10% of sophomores at Rutgers based on GPA performance in their respective schools. My husband and I are overjoyed and SO proud of our baby girl. She maintained a 4.0 GPA through her freshman year, and I know that’s not easy as an Animal Science major on the Pre-Vet track. She has always been very conscientious and self-motivated. My husband and I are far from the so-called Tiger Dad or Tiger Mom. In fact, growing up in an “Achieve or Die” culture, having experienced (and barely survived) the Overachiever Minefield, and having lost 2 cousins to suicide in their teen and early 20s, I am highly aware and mindful of NOT subjecting my own two children to many things that I went through in my youth.

When the news broke out on the same day about Patrick Pichette’s retirement and my daughter’s award, I was once again humbly reminded of my enormous responsibility of raising the next-generation high achievers. I was reminded of a photo of me and my daughter taken on her high school graduation day (pictured), where there was a banner behind us that read “START A LEGACY”. I wasn’t aware of the banner when we were taking the picture. It was until much later when I looked at the picture and realized what a PERFECT message we were given. What a blessing! This whole “business” of being a parent is about leaving a legacy, isn’t it? We are not here just for ourselves. At the end of the day, we’ve got to ask ourselves, “What kind of legacy am I creating? At the end of my life, what kind of legacy am I leaving behind?” That’s WAY more important than any fame, fortune or achievements.

We’ve got to ask ourselves, over and over, “What kind of role model are we being for our children?” As you know, our children learn more from what we do, than what we preach.

A few years ago, I watched a transformational movie called The Shift, starring Dr. Wayne Dyer, one of my favorite spiritual authors and mentors. In the movie, he talked about a fascinating study called The Moment That Turns Your Values Upside Down. In this study, they asked a large group of men and women to list their top 5 priorities before and after “The Shift”, which is the “Quantum Moment” that changes your life in such a dramatic way that challenges and changes your priorities, core values, and even WHO YOU ARE. Sometimes The Shift is triggered by a spiritual awakening, a tragic loss, or some kind of “wake up call”. Doesn’t it remind you of my Metamorphosis story?

Are you curious about the top 5 priorities men and women have? (Hint: they are VERY different) And how their top 5 priorities changed after The Shift? (again, VERY different and totally surprising)

Let’s look at men first. Before The Shift, men’s top 5 priorities were:

  1. Wealth
  2. Sense of Adventure
  3. Achievement
  4. Pleasure
  5. Be Respected

After The Shift, men’s top 5 priorities changed to:

  1. Spirituality
  2. Personal Peace (less anxiety and stress, peace of mind)
  3. Family
  4. God’s Will (a sense of purpose)
  5. Honesty (authenticity, honest with his own feelings and with himself)

Dr. Wayne Dyer noted that spirituality was NOT even on top 15 for men before The Shift, however, it became their #1 priority after The Shift. Family was on top 15 before The Shift, although it was way down on the list.

Now, let’s look at women. Before The Shift, women’s top 5 priorities were:

  1. Family
  2. Sense of Independence
  3. Career
  4. Fitting In
  5. Attractiveness (looking nice, be liked by others)

After The Shift, women’s top 5 priorities changed to:

  1. Personal Growth (How am I growing as a human being?)
  2. Sense of Self-Esteem (How do I feel about myself? Am I worthy and valuable?)
  3. Spirituality
  4. Happiness
  5. Forgiveness (letting go of resentment and hurt from the past)

Dr. Wayne Dyer noted that, for women, happiness was almost at the bottom of their priority list before The Shift. Women were told that doing what they are supposed to do is more important than feeling happy or feeling entitled to happiness. After The Shift, happiness climbed to #4 on their priority list.

Quite a dramatic change of priorities for BOTH men and women, right? Were you surprised? What surprised you the most? Can you relate to the study results?

Back to Google CFO Patrick Pichette. What prompted this dramatic and unorthodox career move? Pichette recalls a vacation in Africa with his wife last fall, during which she suggested they keep traveling and really see the world. He initially gave a typical prudent CFO type response: I would love to keep going, but we have to go back. It’s not time yet. There is still so much to do at Google, so many people counting on me, etc. (you can read his full memo at the end of this post)

“Then she asked the killer question,” Pichette wrote in his memo, which he posted to Google+. “So when is it going to be time? Our time? My time? The questions just hung there in the cold morning African air.”

That was his THE Shift moment. He recognized and embraced THE Shift, and made the conscious and wise decision to honor his core values and priorities.

How about you? Are you living a life aligned with your core values and priorities? If not, would you like to make THE Shift? 

No, you don’t need to quit your job, run to Africa or move to a monastery on top of a mountain (unless you want to). You CAN make THE Shift right where you are.

Nirvana, as they say, is just a thought away.

THE Shift is a change process which starts from WITHIN yourself — your thoughts, beliefs, mindset. It’s an inside-out job. Of course, to change your life to re-align with your new priorities and core values, you’ll have to change your behaviors and make different choices about your life too. This is where coaching can help. Big time.

Once you become aware that your current life is not in alignment with your core values, priorities and/or who you truly are, the mis-alignment can feel increasingly uncomfortable, even excruciatingly painful. It’s like forcing yourself into a pair of way-too-small shoes AND having to walk 5K in those shoes every single day. Ugh! It’s pure torture and self-abuse. Just the thought of it makes me shudder.

Instead of torturing yourself, let me invite you to consider coaching with me. If you are a high-achieving woman (or man) who is very successful BUT feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and unhappy at the end of the day, AND you have challenges with:

1) Taking care of EVERYONE but not enough time for YOURSELF

2) You are dealing with “Internal Stress” such as being very hard on yourself, constantly criticizing yourself, trying to be nice and please everyone, trying to be perfect & put-together all the time, fear of failure, or fear of judgment/rejection

If you are struggling with one or more of the above challenges, you WILL benefit from coaching with me.

Some of the benefits of coaching with me:

  • Less stress and anxiety, Better sleep
  • More joy, inner peace and calm
  • More self-confidence at work
  • More self-compassion and less self-judgment
  • Better mental focus, productivity & performance
  • Better understanding of your own limiting beliefs & behaviors (Less self-sabotage)
  • Better self-care and better health
  • Better relationship with yourself and with others (think your spouse, children, in-laws, coworkers, friends etc)
  • Better at saying NO and setting healthy boundaries
  • More time for you WITHOUT GUILT
  • Practical tools and strategies for managing yourself and your work/life

Imagine… If you can have just ONE of the above benefits RIGHT NOW, how differently will YOU feel? How much BETTER will your work life & family life be?

The Peace, Joy and Freedom of creating a life you love can be yours, if you have the courage to MAKE THE CHANGE. Let me be your guide.

Meditation

The truth is, if you keep doing the same things you’ve been doing, you’ll keep getting the same results. How will you feel a year from now, or 5 years from now, if you keep doing what you’ve been doing?

If you are READY and WILLING to invest in yourself and your life, I’d like to offer you a *complimentary* 30-min Initial Consultation with me.

This can be done by phone (or Skype, if you live outside of the US) at a time that’s convenient for you and me. Please note: this is NOT a sample coaching session. This is a consultation to explore if we are a good fit for coaching.

Whether you decide to coach with me, you WILL definitely get clarity about your challenges and the possible action steps for you. So, you really have nothing to lose, and EVERYTHING to gain.

I have a limited number of Initial Consultation openings each month. It’s first come, first serve. To apply for your consultation, simply click on the “Apply Now” button below to schedule your appointment online.

Apply Now

 

 

 

P.S. Here is Patrick Pichette’s full memo:

After nearly 7 years as CFO, I will be retiring from Google to spend more time with my family. Yeah, I know you’ve heard that line before. We give a lot to our jobs. I certainly did. And while I am not looking for sympathy, I want to share my thought process because so many people struggle to strike the right balance between work and personal life.

This story starts last fall. A very early morning last September, after a whole night of climbing, looking at the sunrise on top of Africa – Mt Kilimanjaro. Tamar (my wife) and I were not only enjoying the summit, but on such a clear day, we could see in the distance, the vast plain of the Serengeti at our feet, and with it the calling of all the potential adventures Africa has to offer. (see exhibit #1 – Tamar and I on Kili).

And Tamar out of the blue said “Hey, why don’t we just keep on going”. Let’s explore Africa, and then turn east to make our way to India, it’s just next door, and we’re here already. Then, we keep going; the Himalayas, Everest, go to Bali, the Great Barrier Reef… Antarctica, let’s go see Antarctica!?” Little did she know, she was tempting fate.

I remember telling Tamar a typical prudent CFO type response- I would love to keep going, but we have to go back. It’s not time yet, There is still so much to do at Google, with my career, so many people counting on me/us – Boards, Non Profits, etc

But then she asked the killer question: So when is it going to be time? Our time? My time? The questions just hung there in the cold morning African air.

A few weeks later, I was happy back at work, but could not shake away THE question: When is it time for us to just keep going? And so began a reflection on my/our life. Through numerous hours of cycling last fall (my introvert happy place) I concluded on a few simple and self-evident truths:

First, The kids are gone. Two are in college, one graduated and in a start-up in Africa. Beautiful young adults we are very proud of. Tamar honestly deserves most of the credit here. She has done a marvelous job. Simply marvelous. But the reality is that for Tamar and I, there will be no more Cheerios encrusted minivan, night watch because of ear infections, ice hockey rinks at 6:00am. Nobody is waiting for us/needing us.

Second, I am completing this summer 25-30 years of nearly non-stop work (depending on how you wish to cut the data). And being member of FWIO, the noble Fraternity of Worldwide Insecure Over-achievers, it has been a whirlwind of truly amazing experiences. But as I count it now, it has also been a frenetic pace for about 1500 weeks now. Always on – even when I was not supposed to be. Especially when I was not supposed to be. And am guilty as charged – I love my job (still do), my colleagues, my friends, the opportunities to lead and change the world.

Third, this summer, Tamar and I will be celebrating our 25th anniversary. When our kids are asked by their friends about the success of the longevity of our marriage, they simply joke that Tamar and I have spent so little time together that “it’s really too early to tell” if our marriage will in fact succeed.
If they could only know how many great memories we already have together. How many will you say? How long do you have? But one thing is for sure, I want more. And she deserves more. Lots more.

Allow me to spare you the rest of the truths. But the short answer is simply that I could not find a good argument to tell Tamar we should wait any longer for us to grab our backpacks and hit the road – celebrate our last 25 years together by turning the page and enjoy a perfectly fine mid life crisis full of bliss and beauty, and leave the door open to serendipity for our next leadership opportunities, once our long list of travels and adventures is exhausted.

Working at Google is a privilege, nothing less. I have worked with the best of the best, and know that I am leaving Google in great hands. I have made so many friends at Google it’s not funny. Larry, Sergey, Eric, thank you for friendship. I am forever grateful for letting me be me, for your trust, your warmth, your support, and for so much laughter through good and not so good times.

To be clear, I am still here. I wish to transition over the coming months but only after we have found a new Googley CFO and help him/her through an orderly transition, which will take some time.

In the end, life is wonderful, but nonetheless a series of trade offs, especially between business/professional endeavours and family/community. And thankfully, I feel I’m at a point in my life where I no longer have to have to make such tough choices anymore. And for that I am truly grateful. Carpe Diem.

Patrick

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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What do Butterflies, Little Girl and Construction Truck Have in Common?

As I’m writing this post, my heart is filled with JOY and GRATITUDE. As you know, for the past 2 weeks, I’ve been hosting a transformational event for heart-centered, high-achieving V.E.N.U.S. women called The Venus Evolution Global Telesummit. About 1,000 V.E.N.U.S. women from all over the world have joined this FREE teleseminar series, to learn from 20 world-renowned mentors, visionaries and experts in personal development, spirituality and business. It’s been an honor and such a privilege for me as the host, to spend time with these AMAZING mentors!!

Today is the LAST day of The Venus Evolution Global Telesummit and it’s my turn to take the center stage. Yay!! I’ll be speaking on Claim Your Peaceful Power for True Confidence, Lasting Inner Peace & Unstoppable Success. By the way, it’s NOT too late to reserve your FREE seat for today’s sessions!

Register FREE ~> www.TheVenusEvolution.com

I can’t believe the 2-week summit is coming to an end so soon! Time flies when we are having fun and we really ROCKED it!! :) What started out as a small still voice, a divine message I heard – “Help the little girl” – blossomed into this amazing transformational event for heart-centered, high-achieving V.E.N.U.S. women around the world. I’m so glad I listened to that voice and followed my heart — despite my doubts and fears. I couldn’t have done it without my AMAZING speakers who I have the honor to call my friends, colleagues, soul sisters (and brothers).

Divine synchronisities abound before and during The Venus Evolution Global Telesummit and I’d like to share some of them with you. If you are connected with me on Facebook, you might know that I’ve been fascinated by butterflies, particularly Monarch, and I’ve raised a few at home, and bought 3 more chrysalises in October. Well, during the week of 10/10 (“perfect ten” has special meaning in Chinese culture… “everything is beautiful, perfect and complete”), I was scheduled to interview Maryam Webster, Lisa Walker and Ken Stone for the Telesummit. Three days IN A ROW, at the EXACT time I was supposed to call for the interview, one Monarch butterfly hatched from its chrysalis. I shared this with Maryam, Lisa and Ken when I called, and we were all amazed by this beautiful gift from the Divine. This Telesummit is about women’s transformation and empowerment. What better symbol is there than the beautiful and powerful Monarch butterflies?

Another one of my favorite divine synchronisities during the summit is when Christine Kloser and I were on the call, talking about a huge business decision she just made that required full surrender to grace, and, a construction truck drove by her window, with HUGE letters painted on the side that read “In God We Trust.” I just love INSTANT divine messages like that, don’t you? :)

What a ride this has been!! Woo-Hoo!! I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me!! And if not, what are you waiting for?!! Sign up now before it’s too late!! Register F*REE ~> www.TheVenusEvolution.com

V.E.N.U.S. women are on the rise. I’d like to think that all the speakers and I have helped in some way through this telesummit. It’s a labor of LOVE we have created together. I hope it has been as joyful and meaningful to you, as it is for me.

Remember to tune in to that small still voice, and follow your heart!

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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Valentine’s Day Special

Valentine’s Day Special Bundle to Celebrate You!

Valentine’s Day is about sharing love with someone special, and that should include YOU! As a nurturer we often focus so much on taking care of EVERYONE but neglect ourselves. In celebration of Valentine’s Day and National Heart Health Month (February), I am offering an amazing special gift to celebrate YOU!!! This special bundle takes three of my powerful tools to help you reduce stress, nurture yourself without guilt, and create more JOY and PEACE in your busy life.

Are you someone that needs a little nurturing and self-love or do you know someone that could use the encouragement? These were specially selected as a bundle to give you that self-love and nurturing you need in order to care for others.

The Valentine’s Bundle Includes:

Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others

* Do you feel like there is no time for you?
* Are you feeling lonely and isolated?
* Are your work and life out of balance?
* Do you feel overwhelmed and stressed?
* Are you lacking a social life?
* Do you feel there’s never enough time?
* Do you feel exhausted at the end of the day?
* Is stress causing you physical or emotional distress?
* Difficulty juggling your work and family life?
* Disappointed in the lack of progress your loved one or patient is making?

Then this book is a must read for YOU!

“This book is a must read for anyone who is in the role of caregiver: nurses, doctors, home health aids, or anyone caring for a loved family member. Hueina Su has done an outstanding job of giving tools and techniques that are practical and highly valuable to caregivers. This book will inspire you as you hear her compassionate voice, giving you hope as well as solutions.”
— Terri Levine, PhD, MCC, The Guru of Coaching®, best-selling author of Coaching is for Everyone
This amazing interactive guidebook will help you:

  • Create more time for YOU
  • Resolve the feeling of stress & overwhelm
  • Take care of yourself without feeling selfish or guilty
  • Find joy and serenity in the present moment
  • Restore peace and calm when life is spinning out of control
  • Create life balance to avoid caregiver burnout
  • Clear out emotional clutter for lasting inner peace
  • Find peace in the face of death and grieving
  • Use Self-Coaching Session at the end of each chapter to personalize your learning and action steps
A Prescription for Stress-Free Living (Audio CD)

In the modern world where most people have hectic schedules and juggling multiple responsibilities, stress seems like an inevitable element in life that we have to live with. Maybe you have tried to alleviate stress by deep breathing, exercise, yoga, massage, shopping, but the relief is temporary. Or maybe you resort to other unhealthy coping behaviors, such as drinking, smoking, drugs, emotional eating, gambling, and end up creating more stress and problems. It is time to try something that works.
In this audio program, you will learn:

  • The anatomy of stress — where does your stress come from, what’s your default reaction, and how effective (or ineffective) your coping strategies are
  • The underlying root cause of your stress — it’s not what you think
  • Self-Care Deficiency Syndrome — what it is, what are the symptoms and consequences, and what can you do about it
  • Why most stress relief strategies only provide temporary relief, and what can you do instead to for long-lasting freedom from the devastating effects of chronic stress
  • The powerful 3-prong approach I use to help my clients relieve chronic stress, create more joy and balance in every area of their lives
  • 3 powerful questions that will shift your energy from stress to peace instantly
  • Empowering mindset shift to help you handle any crisis
  • Principles to live by for stress-free living
Learn to Say No Stress Relief CDLearn to Say NO, So You Can Say YES to Your Life (Audio CD)

Many people feel tremendously anxious or guilty when they have to say NO to other people’s requests. They feel obligated to say YES, and end up feeling over-scheduled, overwhelmed, stressed out, and even resentful. Can you relate to this?We all have 24 hours a day. When you say YES to something, you are saying NO to something else. In order to live a balanced life, you need to set your priorities straight, and set good boundaries by saying NO to some requests and/or invitations.

In this audio program you will learn:

  • the root cause of WHY you can’t say no
  • why changing behaviors alone will not work
  • what kind of “Wrong Equations” you’ve created around saying no
  • get clear about what you want to say no to
  • how to deal with guilt, fears, anxiety when you say no
  • the 7-step process to turn negative emotions into positive actions
  • the critical 6-second window to avoid being hijacked by your emotions
  • the ONE question you can use to take control of your emotions
  • strategies and tactics to help you say no
  • how to build on the insights you learn for lasting changes

Give Yourself and/or Someone You Care the Gift of Self-Love Today!!

As you can see, each one of these is very powerful on its own, and each provides practical tools and strategies to help you reduce stress, nurture yourself so you will have more to give to your loved ones. In celebration of Valentine’s Day and the National Heart Health Month (February), I’m offering these 3 products as a special bundle just for you!!

This is a perfect gift for Valentine’s Day and EVERYDAY!!

Regular Price for all 3 Products is $60.00

The Valentine’s Bundle Special Pricing: $47.00
(PLUS discounted shipping for this special LIMITED-TIME OFFER)


Click Here to Browse Other Products in My Store


About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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From Self-Sacrifice to Self-Love

I remember vividly the day I told my Mom that I was pregnant with my first child.  My Mom was overjoyed. This would be her very first grandchild and it meant the world to her. She congratulated me, and then she said something that stunned me. “Be prepared to give up at least 10 years of your life for this baby.” My first response was, “Sacrifice 10 Years?!! Um, how about me? How about my own life?”

Back then, I was approaching 30, loved my career, and had no intention of being a stay-at-home mom (although later on I did stay home for a few years and I would never trade anything for those years with my children). I know my Mom was simply telling her truth. That’s how she lives her life as a mother and wife. However, the concept of “sacrificing” ten or more years of my life was such a foreign idea to me that it shocked me, intellectually and emotionally. To me, this self-sacrifice parenting model sounds too “all or nothing.” Even as inexperienced as I was, I knew instinctively that it’s not good for my overall well-being. I remember thinking to myself, “Is this really the only way? Why can’t I have my baby, my career AND my life?”

If you know anything about Chinese culture, you know that “self-sacrifice” is highly admirable, even expected, especially for women. Men are also expected to self-sacrifice, but usually only for a higher cause, like family honor, the emperor, or their country. The bottom line is, most people avoid being perceived as selfish at all cost, and they put their own happiness and self-worth at the mercy of others.

After almost 20 years of living in the US, counseling and coaching countless people, I know that the Chinese are not the only group who think and behave in this way. The fact is, we are all more alike than different from each other.

Despite cultural differences, women are biologically hard-wired and socially conditioned to take care of everyone first, and often do so at the cost of their own well-being. Those who are moms are especially prone to self-sacrifice for their children and their spouse. It’s safe to say that most moms put their family as their top priority, and they are willing to let their own career take a backseat. It’s really a matter of personal value and choice. I never agree with the so-called mommy wars between stay-at-home moms and working moms. I’ve been a full-time working mom and a full-time stay-at-home mom myself, and I can honestly say that being a stay-at-home mom was one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had. I believe it’s extremely important for children’s best interest to have their parents physically and emotionally available for them. There is no substitute for undivided attention, quality time and unconditional love. How you achieve this depends on your unique circumstances and your wisdom.

It’s admirable for moms to put their family first. As moms, we all sacrifice something for our children and our family. When we sacrifice our time, sleep or our career out of pure love for our family, we do it willingly and joyfully. It’s a beautiful act of love. However, many women feel that putting their family first is a duty and obligation they cannot and dare not refuse. They feel extremely guilty and shameful to take time for themselves, honor their own needs, and pursue their dreams, especially if there is a conflict with their family’s needs or expectations. On one hand, they feel unhappy and resentful for such self-sacrifice; on the other hand, they feel strongly that they have no other choice.

Every day, I see bright, beautiful, talented women sacrifice their own well-being, aspiration, passion and their dreams in the name of love. It breaks my heart. For these women, giving up their own passion and dreams often leaves such a big hole in their heart and their souls that they feel sad, torn, trapped and lost. They gradually lose their self-confidence, identity, purpose, and their true self. It’s truly tragic.

I bet you know someone like that. Perhaps you are someone like that.

When you sacrifice your own well-being or dreams for your loved ones out of obligation, or fear of being judged or rejected, chances are, you end up feeling resentful. You might try to guilt trip your spouse or children to do what you want them to do, because, after all, you have sacrificed so much for them. When they do not oblige, you feel disappointed, frustrated, sad, angry, and even more resentful. Have your parents tried to guilt trip you? Did it work? How did it make you feel? If you have been forced to do something out of guilt, you probably felt resentful too.

Resentment is toxic for any relationship. Overtime, it will poison the very relationship you want to nurture, and you end up resenting the person you sacrifice yourself for. As Malachy McCourt wrote so poignantly, “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person would die.” Do you really want this poison in your family relationship?

Another thing to consider: Research has repeatedly shown that depression can be passed down from moms to their children. The alarming fact is, the cause is more than just genes. One clinical study I came across studied pairs of moms and their young children who are both depressed. They treated the moms first, and found that when a mom’s depression improved, her child improved too without treatment. That’s how powerful a mother’s behaviors and emotional well-being can affect her child!

I’d argue that moms who self-sacrifice are more prone to depression than moms who have a healthy self-image, self-confidence and live a fulfilling life. You might think you are sacrificing yourself for your children’s best interest, however, you might be unknowingly affecting their well-being. Please know that I brought this up because I care about you, not because I want to make you feel guilty or inadequate as a mom (no one can “make” you feel anything without your consent, by the way). I’ve suffered from depression before, and I know the dark abyss. If you suspect that you might be suffering from depression, please make sure that you seek professional help right away. It’s not just for your own sake, it’s for your children’s well-being as well.

Remember, your happiness counts too! Stop sacrificing your well-being in the name of love. Stop shoulding all over yourself. Stop using love as an excuse not to pursue your own dreams and live up to your highest potential. The highest level of Intensive Self-Care is self-actualization. The world needs you to express your gifts and talents, and fulfill your life purpose.

The best inheritance you can leave your kids is an example of how to live a full and meaningful life,” wrote Dan Zadra. When you can give your children a happy and healthy mom, everybody wins. Your children are watching you and learning from your example. They need to learn how to honor their own needs, stand up for themselves, listen to their inner wisdom and pursue their dreams. What kind of example are you setting for your children? What legacy will you leave behind? That’s something worth pondering.

Action Challenge:

1. What makes you happy? What’s one thing you can do to nurture yourself this week? Give yourself permission to do that. Add it to your calendar now.

2. Read something that will inspire you and give you permission to practice Intensive Self-Care. My book Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others is perfect for this. Download your sample chapters here, if you have not done so. Read the chapter “From Self-Sacrifice to Self-Love“.

3. What is the dream you have put on hold for your family? Dust it off, and tell someone about it, even if it sounds like an impossible dream to you right now. If you can’t even bring yourself to tell someone about it, tell it to yourself by writing it down. There is tremendous power in writing something down or telling someone about your goal. You are taking the first step toward making it happen.

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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What 500 Blind Dates Taught Me About Attracting Long-Lasting Love

What 500 Blind Dates Taught Me About Attracting

Long-Lasting Love

This Teleseminar is for EVERYONE who desire long-lasting loving relationships, whether you are married or single.

For years, I was heart-broken, depressed and on the brink of suicide at one point. I’d never forget that day when I FINALLY turn my relationship and my life around.

Now I have a happy family. My husband and I just celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary, and we have two beautiful teen-age children who are pure JOY in our lives.

I’d like to share my experiences and lessons with you, so you don’t have to make the same mistakes I made. This is my Velentine’s Day gift for you!

This Teleseminar is for EVERYONE who desire long-lasting loving relationships, whether you are currently in a relationship or not.

No, I’m NOT teaching you dating skills in this Teleseminar. But, if you have been frustrated or heart-broken in search of “true love”, if you have been scratching your head wondering why you keep attracting men who don’t appreciate you, or, if you keep sabotaging your relationships and you want to stop, this is for you!

If you are currently in a less-than-ideal relationship and would like to improve it, this is for you.

In this FREE Teleseminar you will learn:

  • The No. 1 key to attracting AND keeping love
  • How you could be unknowingly REPELLING love from you

  • Why & how you sabotage your relationship (and how to stop it)

  • Why you keep attracting the SAME jerk into your life (even though they all have different names!)

  • The defining moment that turned my relationship and my life around — the ONE thing I did that fateful day that pulled me out of depression and made all the difference

  • How to release your past and finally CREATE a long-lasting loving, happy relationship

Even if you can’t attend the live call, sign up anyway. A recording will be sent to you afterward.

Yes, Sign Me Up!

Call-in number will be delivered to your email address below, so make sure your email address is correct.

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Your Email*
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Your Biggest Challenge
Submit a question

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Hueina Su in black jacket

I can’t wait to hear you on the call!

Love, Peace & Joy,

Hueina

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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