Help Me Celebrate Moms and Support American Cancer Society

Since last June, I’ve been leading the Mindful Wellness Coaching Program for cancer patients, survivors and caregivers at the Sparta Cancer Center. In March, I co-organized and delivered a keynote at a special breast cancer survivors event called Sailing Through Your Breast Cancer Journey, which was co-sponsored by Summit Breast Care, Newton Memorial Hospital, Project Self-Sufficiency and Sussex County Cancer Coalition. The event was well-received and we had almost 100 participants. My own grandpa and grandma both died of cancer, and I took care of many terminal cancer patients when I was a nurse years ago, so I’ve always feel for cancer patients & survivors. That’s why I’ve done several workshops and participated in breast cancer walks for American Cancer Society over the years.

This year, I’m doing a special fundraiser for American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life on May 14. I’m helping the Rainbow Racers to raise money for their team. From now till May 14, when you order my book or CDs from my website, I will donate 50% proceeds to the Rainbow Racers for Relay for Life.

In addition to my book Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul, there are 5 different audio CDs to choose from: A Prescription for Stress-Free Living, The Balancing Act: Time Management for Busy Professionals, Learn to Say NO, So You Can Say YES to Your Life, Effortless Decision-Making Strategies for the Indecisive, and Changing Lanes: Secrets of Successful Midlife Career Change. Each one offers inspiration as well as PRACTICAL action strategies you can use right away. They make perfect gifts for moms, caregivers, teachers, coaches, healthcare professionals, and anyone who can use some relief from their stressful lives. Plus you will be supporting a great cause!!

To order my book and CDs, please visit my website http://www.HueinaSu.com/store. If you prefer to donate directly to Rainbow Racers, you can visit their team page at the American Cancer Society website.

Valentine’s Day Special

Valentine’s Day Special Bundle to Celebrate You!

Valentine’s Day is about sharing love with someone special, and that should include YOU! As a nurturer we often focus so much on taking care of EVERYONE but neglect ourselves. In celebration of Valentine’s Day and National Heart Health Month (February), I am offering an amazing special gift to celebrate YOU!!! This special bundle takes three of my powerful tools to help you reduce stress, nurture yourself without guilt, and create more JOY and PEACE in your busy life.

Are you someone that needs a little nurturing and self-love or do you know someone that could use the encouragement? These were specially selected as a bundle to give you that self-love and nurturing you need in order to care for others.

The Valentine’s Bundle Includes:

Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others * Do you feel like there is no time for you? * Are you feeling lonely and isolated? * Are your work and life out of balance? * Do you feel overwhelmed and stressed? * Are you lacking a social life? * Do you feel there’s never enough time? * Do you feel exhausted at the end of the day? * Is stress causing you physical or emotional distress? * Difficulty juggling your work and family life? * Disappointed in the lack of progress your loved one or patient is making? Then this book is a must read for YOU!

“This book is a must read for anyone who is in the role of caregiver: nurses, doctors, home health aids, or anyone caring for a loved family member. Hueina Su has done an outstanding job of giving tools and techniques that are practical and highly valuable to caregivers. This book will inspire you as you hear her compassionate voice, giving you hope as well as solutions.” – Terri Levine, PhD, MCC, The Guru of Coaching®, best-selling author of Coaching is for Everyone

This amazing interactive guidebook will help you: Create more time for YOU Resolve the feeling of stress & overwhelm Take care of yourself without feeling selfish or guilty Find joy and serenity in the present moment Restore peace and calm when life is spinning out of control Create life balance to avoid caregiver burnout Clear out emotional clutter for lasting inner peace Find peace in the face of death and grieving Use Self-Coaching Session at the end of each chapter to personalize your learning and action steps

A Prescription for Stress-Free Living (Audio CD) In the modern world where most people have hectic schedules and juggling multiple responsibilities, stress seems like an inevitable element in life that we have to live with. Maybe you have tried to alleviate stress by deep breathing, exercise, yoga, massage, shopping, but the relief is temporary. Or maybe you resort to other unhealthy coping behaviors, such as drinking, smoking, drugs, emotional eating, gambling, and end up creating more stress and problems. It is time to try something that works.

In this audio program, you will learn: The anatomy of stress — where does your stress come from, what’s your default reaction, and how effective (or ineffective) your coping strategies are The underlying root cause of your stress — it’s not what you think Self-Care Deficiency Syndrome — what it is, what are the symptoms and consequences, and what can you do about it Why most stress relief strategies only provide temporary relief, and what can you do instead to for long-lasting freedom from the devastating effects of chronic stress The powerful 3-prong approach I use to help my clients relieve chronic stress, create more joy and balance in every area of their lives 3 powerful questions that will shift your energy from stress to peace instantly Empowering mindset shift to help you handle any crisis Principles to live by for stress-free living

Learn to Say NO, So You Can Say YES to Your Life (Audio CD) Many people feel tremendously anxious or guilty when they have to say NO to other people’s requests. They feel obligated to say YES, and end up feeling over-scheduled, overwhelmed, stressed out, and even resentful. Can you relate to this?We all have 24 hours a day. When you say YES to something, you are saying NO to something else. In order to live a balanced life, you need to set your priorities straight, and set good boundaries by saying NO to some requests and/or invitations.

In this audio program you will learn: the root cause of WHY you can’t say no why changing behaviors alone will not work what kind of “Wrong Equations” you’ve created around saying no get clear about what you want to say no to how to deal with guilt, fears, anxiety when you say no the 7-step process to turn negative emotions into positive actions the critical 6-second window to avoid being hijacked by your emotions the ONE question you can use to take control of your emotions strategies and tactics to help you say no how to build on the insights you learn for lasting changes

Give Yourself and/or Someone You Care the Gift of Self-Love Today!!

As you can see, each one of these is very powerful on its own, and each provides practical tools and strategies to help you reduce stress, nurture yourself so you will have more to give to your loved ones. In celebration of Valentine’s Day and the National Heart Health Month (February), I’m offering these 3 products as a special bundle just for you!! This is a perfect gift for Valentine’s Day and EVERYDAY!!

Regular Price for all 3 Products is $60.00 The Valentine’s Bundle Special Pricing: $47.00 (PLUS discounted shipping for this special LIMITED-TIME OFFER)

Click Here to Browse Other Products in My Store

Stop… in the Name of Love

I remember vividly the day I told my Mom that I was pregnant with my first child.  My Mom was overjoyed. This would be her very first grandchild and it meant the world to her. She congratulated me, and then she said something that stunned me. “Be prepared to give up at least 10 years of your life for this baby.” My first response was, “Sacrifice 10 Years?!! Um, how about me? How about my own life?”

Back then, I was approaching 30, loved my career, and had no intention of being a stay-at-home mom (although later on I did stay home for a few years and I would never trade anything for those years with my children). I know my Mom was simply telling her truth. That’s how she lives her life as a mother and wife. However, the concept of “sacrificing” ten or more years of my life was such a foreign idea to me that it shocked me, intellectually and emotionally. To me, this self-sacrifice parenting model sounds too “all or nothing.” Even as inexperienced as I was, I knew instinctively that it’s not good for my overall well-being. I remember thinking to myself, “Is this really the only way? Why can’t I have my baby, my career AND my life?”

If you know anything about Chinese culture, you know that “self-sacrifice” is highly admirable, even expected, especially for women. Men are also expected to self-sacrifice, but usually only for a higher cause, like family honor, the emperor, or their country. The bottom line is, most people avoid being perceived as selfish at all cost, and they put their own happiness and self-worth at the mercy of others.

After almost 20 years of living in the US, counseling and coaching countless people, I know that the Chinese are not the only group who think and behave in this way. The fact is, we are all more alike than different from each other.

Despite cultural differences, women are biologically hard-wired and socially conditioned to take care of everyone first, and often do so at the cost of their own well-being. Those who are moms are especially prone to self-sacrifice for their children and their spouse. It’s safe to say that most moms put their family as their top priority, and they are willing to let their own career take a backseat. It’s really a matter of personal value and choice. I never agree with the so-called mommy wars between stay-at-home moms and working moms. I’ve been a full-time working mom and a full-time stay-at-home mom myself, and I can honestly say that being a stay-at-home mom was one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had. I believe it’s extremely important for children’s best interest to have their parents physically and emotionally available for them. There is no substitute for undivided attention, quality time and unconditional love. How you achieve this depends on your unique circumstances and your wisdom.

It’s admirable for moms to put their family first. As moms, we all sacrifice something for our children and our family. When we sacrifice our time, sleep or our career out of pure love for our family, we do it willingly and joyfully. It’s a beautiful act of love. However, many women feel that putting their family first is a duty and obligation they cannot and dare not refuse. They feel extremely guilty and shameful to take time for themselves, honor their own needs, and pursue their dreams, especially if there is a conflict with their family’s needs or expectations. On one hand, they feel unhappy and resentful for such self-sacrifice; on the other hand, they feel strongly that they have no other choice.

Every day, I see bright, beautiful, talented women sacrifice their own well-being, aspiration, passion and their dreams in the name of love. It breaks my heart. For these women, giving up their own passion and dreams often leaves such a big hole in their heart and their souls that they feel sad, torn, trapped and lost. They gradually lose their self-confidence, identity, purpose, and their true self. It’s truly tragic.

I bet you know someone like that. Perhaps you are someone like that.

When you sacrifice your own well-being or dreams for your loved ones out of obligation, or fear of being judged or rejected, chances are, you end up feeling resentful. You might try to guilt trip your spouse or children to do what you want them to do, because, after all, you have sacrificed so much for them. When they do not oblige, you feel disappointed, frustrated, sad, angry, and even more resentful. Have your parents tried to guilt trip you? Did it work? How did it make you feel? If you have been forced to do something out of guilt, you probably felt resentful too.

Resentment is toxic for any relationship. Overtime, it will poison the very relationship you want to nurture, and you end up resenting the person you sacrifice yourself for. As Malachy McCourt wrote so poignantly, “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person would die.” Do you really want this poison in your family relationship?

Another thing to consider: Research has repeatedly shown that depression can be passed down from moms to their children. The alarming fact is, the cause is more than just genes. One clinical study I came across studied pairs of moms and their young children who are both depressed. They treated the moms first, and found that when a mom’s depression improved, her child improved too without treatment. That’s how powerful a mother’s behaviors and emotional well-being can affect her child!

I’d argue that moms who self-sacrifice are more prone to depression than moms who have a healthy self-image, self-confidence and live a fulfilling life. You might think you are sacrificing yourself for your children’s best interest, however, you might be unknowingly affecting their well-being. Please know that I brought this up because I care about you, not because I want to make you feel guilty or inadequate as a mom (no one can “make” you feel anything without your consent, by the way). I’ve suffered from depression before, and I know the dark abyss. If you suspect that you might be suffering from depression, please make sure that you seek professional help right away. It’s not just for your own sake, it’s for your children’s well-being as well.

Remember, your happiness counts too! Stop sacrificing your well-being in the name of love. Stop shoulding all over yourself. Stop using love as an excuse not to pursue your own dreams and live up to your highest potential. The highest level of Intensive Self-Care is self-actualization. The world needs you to express your gifts and talents, and fulfill your life purpose.

“The best inheritance you can leave your kids is an example of how to live a full and meaningful life,” wrote Dan Zadra. When you can give your children a happy and healthy mom, everybody wins. Your children are watching you and learning from your example. They need to learn how to honor their own needs, stand up for themselves, listen to their inner wisdom and pursue their dreams. What kind of example are you setting for your children? What legacy will you leave behind? That’s something worth pondering.

Action Challenge:

1. What makes you happy? What’s one thing you can do to nurture yourself this week? Give yourself permission to do that. Add it to your calendar now.

2. Read something that will inspire you and give you permission to practice Intensive Self-Care. My book Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others is perfect for this. Download your sample chapters here, if you have not done so. Read the chapter “From Self-Sacrifice to Self-Love“.

3. What is the dream you have put on hold for your family? Dust it off, and tell someone about it, even if it sounds like an impossible dream to you right now. If you can’t even bring yourself to tell someone about it, tell it to yourself by writing it down. There is tremendous power in writing something down or telling someone about your goal. You are taking the first step toward making it happen.

The Nurturer’s Coach and Best-selling Author Hueina Su to Guest on Real Moms Radio Show

The Nurturer’s Coach and best-selling author Hueina Su will be interviewed by hosts Jane Taylor and Alanna Cushnan on the Real Moms Radio Show on Thursday April 29, 2010 at 7:00 PM EST.

DENVILLE, NJ — April 28, 2010 – The Nurturer’s Coach Hueina Su will be special guest on Real Moms Radio Show on Thursday April 29, 2010 at 7:00 pm EST. Su is a keynote speaker, certified life coach and the author of the best-selling book Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others.

In the interview, Su will discuss why most moms suffer from self-care deficiency syndrome and how to avoid burnout.

Self-Care Deficiency Syndrome is defined as a collection of symptoms people display when they do not receive sufficient self-care. Some of the classic signs and symptoms include physical ailments such as frequent headaches, digestive problems, insomnia, frequent colds and flu. Emotionally one may feel overwhelmed, anxious, irritable, resentful or depressed. This would negatively relationship, productivity, career and family life.

“Self-Care Deficiency Syndrome can happen to anyone who is in the role of caregiver. When you are pressed for time, self-care is probably the first thing you let go. You put everyone else’s needs before yours. Over time, you will suffer from Self-Care Deficiency Syndrome,” says Su. “Moms are particularly prone to Self-Care Deficiency Syndrome as they always put their family’s needs before theirs.”

Su’s best-selling book, Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul, offers in-depth discussion, tools and strategies for stress relief and self-care. “My lifelong journey as a caregiver inspires me to write Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul as an interactive guidebook,” Su says. “This book is written for all moms, caregivers, teachers, healthcare professionals, businesswomen and other nurturers who take care of people and feeling stressed, overwhelmed, exhausted at the end of the day, no time for themselves, feeling selfish or guilty taking care of themselves.”

Su emphasizes, “Intensive Self-Care is NOT being selfish and it’s NOT a luxury, but rather an essential practice for your survival and overall well-being.” She is on a mission to bring the message of self-love and intensive self-care to make a difference in the lives of more than one million women nurturers.

To listen to the broadcast, go to www.live365.com/stations/realityradio101/schedule/?site=pro. The broadcast, live at 7:00 pm EST on April 29, will be recorded and archived for those who cannot catch it live to listen at their leisure.

For more information about Su’s best-selling book and special bonus gifts, visit www.intensiveselfcarebook.com. This book is also available at Amazon.com.

About Hueina Su and Beyond Horizon Coaching
Hueina Su, MS, BSN, CEC, The Nurturer’s CoachTM, is a renowned expert in helping people restore the missing peace and balance in their stressful lives. Su is a professional keynote speaker, certified life coach, and the best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others. She is on a mission to bring the message of self-love and intensive self-care to make a difference in the lives of more than one million women nurturers.

Su is the founder and president of Beyond Horizon Coaching, a global coaching and training company, specializing in providing solutions for work-life balance, stress management, and Intensive Self-Care through personal coaching, executive coaching, teleseminars, keynote presentations, team-building training, and other wellness services. She is the creator of Rx for BalanceTM, The Coaching OasisTM, and Nurture and Grow RichTM programs.

To sign up for free stress management video e-course and learn more about Su’s coaching, keynote speaking, training services and products visit www.HueinaSu.com.

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Note: Hueina Su’s full bio and additional photos www.HueinaSu.com/media-room.

She is available for interviews and can provide a list of tips and other articles. Call 973-664-0446 (O) or 201-572-3641 (Cell) or email Hueina@BeyondHorizonCoaching.com.

Contact Information:
Hueina Su
Beyond Horizon Coaching
Phone: 973-664-0446 (O), 201-572-3641 (Cell)
Email: Hueina@BeyondHorizonCoaching.com
Web: www.HueinaSu.com