[Video] My Unconventional Valentine’s Day Wish for You

Chinese New Year’s day and Super Bowl are behind us, you know what’s coming up next… Valentine’s Day! It’s a day to celebrate romantic love, and depending where you are in your life or in your relationship, the thought of celebrating Valentine’s Day can be passionate and exciting, OR it can cause a lot of anxiety and stress. Or maybe a little bit of both.

Whether you’ll be celebrating Valentine’s Day with a loved one or not, I’d like to offer you this very unconventional & very personal Valentine’s Day wish for you. This is a video I made a few years ago. I remember I was driving home from doing my annual Chinese New Year’s presentation at my son’s school (hence the traditional Chinese dress), and suddenly felt very compelled to make a video to share this message. I got home and made this video right away. No rehearsal. Just straight from my heart.

When I watched it again today, the message is still very poignant and true. I believe this would make a great Valentine’s Day message for you, especially if you have ever felt like you are “not good enough”, “can’t fit in”, “can’t measure up” and “there’s something wrong with me”…. This message is for YOU.

You see, growing up, I’ve always felt there’s something wrong with me and I couldn’t fit in or measure up. Trying to be a “Good Girl” is incredibly stressful and sometimes very demoralizing. Until a few years ago, I made this one decision and EVERYTHING changed…

What was that one decision, you ask? That’s what I wanted to share with you in this video. I hope you enjoy it. I’d love to hear from you after you watch it. Please feel free to share it with anyone who needs this message today. Namaste. <3

Happy Valentine’s Day!! Don’t forget to celebrate YOU as well. I’m sending you so much love…

Watch the video here or click on the image below.

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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Cosmic 2×4, Staying Strong and Vulnerability

Cheryl Richardson gratitude for the cosmic rug-pulling

I love this quote from Cheryl Richardson: “There will come a day when you look back in gratitude for the cosmic rug-pulling that brought you here.” Yes, the gratitude will come, eventually, when we have learned the lesson and found the blessings in disguise. However, when something (or multiple things) causes you to lose your footing by surprise — whether it’s a slight stumble, or what feels like a free fall down the Grand Canyon — it’s hard not to get triggered while it’s happening.

Depending on your “default stress response”, you might react with anxiety, worry, anger, resentment, guilt, blame, fear, or a full-out panic attack. You might also feel sad, helpless or hopeless. I’ve been there many times myself, and even recently, I experienced a few minor “cosmic rug-pulling” that sent me into a little tailspin (yup, it happens to the best of us).

Being an introvert, when I feel stressed and overwhelmed, I tend to withdraw from social interactions. I was also brought up and taught to NEVER air your dirty laundry, show your weakness, or burden others with your problems. My parents are always very anxious and fearful that if we share something personal or show any weakness, some unsavory people will try to judge or harm us. So, I usually try to be strong and suffer alone. Can you relate?

Back to my recent cosmic 2×4 experience… It started with a car accident a few weeks ago. My husband and I were rear-ended on I-95. Thankfully, we walked away with minor injuries, but his car was totaled. We had to deal with getting treatments, replacing his car and all the tedious back-and-forth with the insurance companies. Then a few other “cosmic rug-pulling” happened, that got me so anxious, worried, fearful and overwhelmed, that I withdrew from FB and all social circles. At the time, I felt very overwhelmed, and social media felt like another thing “to do” that would add to my overwhelm. So I just stopped posting altogether.

After a week or two of silence, some of my FB friends started to send me private messages or post to my timeline, wondering what’s going on with me.

Well, this time, I did something different. I realized that it’s not very self-loving to deny myself the love and support that could help me. It’s also not fair to assume that my friends would see me as needy or a burden or wouldn’t care or support me. I was tired of suffering alone, and decided it’s time for me to ask for support. 

So, I posted this update to FB:

“Hello friends, I’m back! Sorry I’ve been MIA for a bit and got some of you worried. Thanks so much for checking in on me (you know who you are and I so appreciate you)! ♥  I’ve been dealing with some stuff. There were some more-than-usual highs and lows in the last few weeks, since the car accident Carey and I had on Easter Sunday. Some joyful celebrations, mixed with surprises of both good and bad kinds, and a WHOLE host of very strong emotions. I’ve been dealing with it privately with my family and just a few friends. All is well in the grand scheme of things. I was just feeling overwhelmed and social media seemed another thing “to do” that would add to my overwhelm, so I withdrew… This has been my M.O. however — I withdraw from social interactions when I feel stressed and overwhelmed. I was brought up and taught to NEVER air your dirty laundry or show your weakness in public, or worse, burden others. However, by doing so, I also cut myself off from the support I could’ve received from my friends. I now realize this is not helping me. It’s not very self-loving to deny myself the love and support that could help me. It’s also not fair to assume that my friends would see me as needy or a burden or wouldn’t care or support me.

I need to learn to be okay to feel vulnerable and ask for help. I’m far from perfect, and I don’t have it all together — and I’ll stop pretending that I do. I’ll update what’s going on later. There are some happy news for sure (including new butterflies!) and some challenges I’m still dealing with. For now, I’m asking you, my friends, to send some love, light and hugs, please. Thank you!!! ♥ “

I admit, I was anxious about posting this update, showing so much vulnerability. What would people think? Would they think that I’m weak and needy? How can I be stressed and overwhelmed? I’m a stress management expert, for God’s sake. Would they think that I’m not good at what I do? These thoughts are not self-loving, of course. I quickly released them and replaced them with EXTRA dosage of self-compassion. 

Breathe, Hueina, breathe.

Within minutes of posting this, I received kind words, love, light, hugs, prayers from SO many friends, both online and offline. And they kept coming in the following days. The outpouring of love and support warmed my heart and lifted my spirit.

But, what really moved me was the comments about vulnerability and being strong. Some thanked me for the courage and role-modeling to be authentic and vulnerable. Some offered assuring words that nobody has it all together and I’m not alone. Interestingly, quite a few people told me that I’m a very strong person, but it’s okay to be vulnerable too.

It does take a lot of courage to be authentic and vulnerable. The truth is, my friends have ALWAYS been very supportive. But, the fear of judgment and rejection is still paralyzing sometimes. However, putting on a brave face and pretending to be strong while I’m feeling the opposite, does not make me strong. It only cuts me off from the love and support that could really help me.

In my book Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul, I wrote about the importance of connection and asking for support in Key #7: Dare to Connect. Asking for help and support when you need is NOT being selfish or needy. It is an act of self-love. How can you receive any support if you pretend that you don’t even need it? How would people know you need help, if you don’t ask for it?

It’s a simple truth, isn’t it? Yet, so many of us still have a tough time asking for help. For me, it’s the fear of judgment and rejection. You might have a different reason why you don’t want to ask for help. We all have different upbringing and limiting beliefs that could prevent us from asking for support. The obstacle and the solution, I believe, are one and the same — the willingness to be vulnerable. 

This is a huge lesson for me, and I’m grateful for the cosmic 2×4 that created this learning opportunity. What I learned from my experience is that it takes a strong person to be authentic, to show vulnerability and ask for help. Nobody has it all together. Nobody is perfect. When we share ourselves authentically, we also strengthen our relationships with those around us. More often than not, when we do ask for help, there are many people who are willing and ready to lend a helping hand. Don’t assume that your friends would see you as needy or a burden, or wouldn’t care or support you. Please know that you deserve the love and support. All you need to do is ASK, and be open to RECEIVE.

And if I can support you through coaching, please do not hesitate to contact me and set up a discovery session. I am here for you. Sending you much love and light.

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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Feeling Anxious, Restless & Lost? The Resistance Before Transformation

Buddha-Change-is-never-painful-Only-resistance-to-change-is-painful

Change is definitely in the air. Every day, I talk to coaching clients, colleagues, family and friends who are going through change and transitions in their personal, family and/or professional lives. Some of these changes are unexpected, dramatic or even traumatic. It can leave you feeling very anxious, restless, overwhelmed, fearful or utterly lost.

Sometimes when we are going through a radical transformation, we consciously or unconsciously resist the process, which makes it much harder for ourselves. Can you relate?

We all go through many cycles of Metamorphosis (aka radical transformations, spiritual awakening, dark night of the soul, etc) in our lifetime. The question is not whether you will go through change. The question is how well you can cope with and thrive in the face of change. Do you have the right tools and support to help you ride the waves of change, instead of being wiped out by the waves?

A few days ago, I was coaching someone who has been feeling very anxious, restless, unmotivated and kind of lost. She is a super high achiever who has accomplished SO much in her personal life, professional life and always gives generously to charities. However, she was lamenting that she felt as if she was not contributing enough. She kept trying to start new projects, but then not feeling motivated to carry them out. This is SO uncharacteristic of her, an extremely driven high achiever with a proven track record of success. She felt puzzled and very frustrated.

I recognized the signs right away, as I’ve been there myself not long ago. My client is going through another cycle of Metamorphosis, like so many of my clients, friends and colleagues have been through, or are going through right now. This wave of Metamorphosis, that’s been going on for the last 3 years or so, is extremely powerful. If you are not self-aware enough, or have the right guide to support you through your Metamorphosis, it can easily sweep you off your feet and make you feel completely overwhelmed, fearful and lost. 

Here is the butterfly story I shared with my client. I’m sharing it with you, because I think it will give you some food for thought and encouragement as it did for my client.

Hueina Su & Monarch Butterfly cropped

My very first encounter with Monarch Butterfly

 

Four years ago, I had an enchanted encounter with Monarch butterflies. I fell madly in love with Monarch and all other butterflies, and even raised a bunch of them at home and in my garden in the last few summers. Do you know that right before caterpillars turn into chrysalises, they would become VERY restless? I’ve raised many of them — 3 different kinds of butterflies — and they all do the same thing. They’d wander all over the butterfly cage, crawling up and down and all around it. Some of them acted so restless that l was afraid they’d hurt themselves! One Black Swallowtail caterpillar kept climbing all the way up to the ceiling of the cage, only to fall all the way to the bottom of the cage (that’s like falling several stories of height for them)!! I thought he was done for, but, he recovered, crawled all the way up there again, and to my horror, fell down AGAIN!

They all eventually settle down, find a spot and prepare to morph into chrysalises. For Monarch butterfly caterpillars, the telltale sign is the signature J position. The Monarch caterpillars would spin a silky thread and hang themselves upside down in a letter J shape. Sometimes they stay in that position for hours or a few days, before morphing into a chrysalis.

Monarch butterfly caterpillar and chrysalis

Monarch Butterfly caterpillar hanging in J position (right) and the chrysalis it turned into (left)

I often marvel at the courage and faith these caterpillars have. To hang in the J position requires total surrender to the Divine. Once they commit to the process, “glue” themselves (literally) in the J position, there is no turning back. While they are hanging in that position, they are utterly and completely vulnerable. Any predator can come and make an easy meal out of them (that’s why in the wild, they only have about 5% survival rate).

However, these caterpillars are so determined to find the right spot and fearlessly commit to their own Metamorphosis. There is absolutely no guarantee that they can make it as a butterfly, but, they do it anyway! They’ve taught me so much about courage, faith, commitment and what true surrender looks like. 

Why am I telling you all this? If you are also going through some kind of transition(s) — personal or professional or both — and you’ve been feeling very anxious, restless, unmotivated, stuck, lost, or creatively blocked, please take heart. You are going through a Metamorphosis like I did (remember the story I shared?), and you’re about to enter the Chrysalis Stage but not quite ready. There may be some lessons to complete — that belongs in the Caterpillar Stage (shedding old skins, healing old wounds & learning the lessons from the past). You are getting restless, just like the caterpillars being restless right before they get ready to morph into chrysalises. Don’t worry. It’s a natural part of the transformational process.

When I was going through this stage, I was VERY restless, anxious and lost. I had no direction and no desire to work on my business or projects, felt incredibly guilty for not “producing” or contributing enough, and felt horrible because I didn’t know how long it was going to last. But, whatever you resists, persists. When I finally stopped resisting, stopped trying to push myself or figure it out with my head, and instead learned to connect & surrender to the Divine, I was able to start getting some divine guidance and start feeling better.

The Chrysalis Stage is where the most radical changes happen. Once the caterpillars morph into chrysalises, it requires them to completely dissolve themselves and re-create themselves into butterflies. If that’s not considered radical transformation, I don’t know what is. And, it all happens WITHIN. On the outside, you can’t see much movement (actions) at all.

How long do they stay inside the dark chrysalis? It depends on each butterfly. Most take 10-20 days, but some MUCH longer. Right now, I have 5 Black Swallowtail butterfly chrysalises that have been “overwintering” (hibernating) in my garage since last October. Every year, the last generation of their kind goes into hibernation in the chrysalis form, and they will emerge as butterflies in the Spring.

You cannot rush transformation. It will all unfold in Divine timing.

HueinaSu_CSC_8383-Monarch-Butterfly-on-Butterfly-Bush

If you are feeling restless, anxious and lost right now, if you can resonate with what I’ve written, please be very patient and compassionate with yourself. We overachievers are so hard on ourselves, aren’t we? This is the time to be EXTRA gentle and loving toward yourself. This is also a time for DEEP REST and Intensive Self-Care. Staying well while you go through your Metamorphosis will definitely help with the process. What’s the most loving thing you can do for yourself? Do that.

Stop trying to figure it out with your head (that’s a form of resistance), and start tuning in to your heart and inner wisdom. Make time to connect with your True Self and the Divine every day, through deep breathing, meditation, yoga, journaling or spending time in nature. Be still enough so you can hear that small, still voice within. Learn to surrender to Divine Order — do your best to accept what is, find the blessings in disguise, and allow things to unfold in divine timing.


“Keep walking, though there’s no place to get to.
Don’t try to see through the distances.
That’s not for human beings. Move within,
But don’t move the way fear makes you move.”
~ Rumi

Creating a vision is good, if you feel called to do so. Just make sure to hold the vision “lightly” so that you can allow the Divine plan to unfold, instead of forcing your own vision. Take actions when you feel inspired and guided to do so. Don’t move out of fear or just for the sake of wanting to do something.

As Buddha said, “Change is never painful. Only resistance to change is painful.” Stop resisting. Let go and hang in there (pun intended)! :) All will unfold in Divine timing. I promise.

I’m here for you if you’d like some support. Having a great coach, especially someone who’s been there herself, is immensely valuable, when you are going through a major transformation. Why would you want to suffer through the process alone, when you can have someone guide you and support you every step of the way? Contact me for a complimentary consultation to explore whether coaching with me is the right next step for you.

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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The One Decision That Saved My Life

The One Decision The Saved My Life

This Wednesday, I celebrated my 49th birthday. Wow, I’m almost half a century old (I know, I don’t look or feel like that)!! As a result, you can probably imagine, I’m in a celebratory and more contemplative mood this week. I’d like to share with you some birthday musings and some inspiration with you.

Hueina 1991 vs 2015

The picture on the left was taken a few days before my birthday in 1991, and the picture on the right was taken on my birthday this year. Two pictures. Twenty-four years apart. When I look at the pictures side by side, I look and feel like a totally different person. Back in 1991, I was in graduate school, stressed out from studying in a foreign country, while going through several painful relationship break-ups. I was painfully shy, insecure and desperately craving love and acceptance from Prince Charming. I didn’t know I was beautiful, lovable and worthy of love. I didn’t know that I need to give love and approval to MYSELF, instead of trying to get love and approval from others. Ironically, I kept attracting men who cheated on me and broke my heart into pieces. It was after 3 men in a row cheated on me that I completely fell apart, and that triggered a profound spiritual awakening for me. I made ONE DECISION that saved my life and turned my life around.

When I look at my younger self, my heart is filled with compassion for her, and gratitude for how far I have come, and WHO I have become.

In my segment in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys (starring Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff), I shared that spiritual awakening experience, the ONE DECISION that saved my life, and the advice I’d give to my younger self. I’d like to share my segment with you today, because I know you will gain some inspiration and insights from watching it.

If I were to ask you to look back at your younger self, what comes to mind? In what way are you different from your younger self? What are you most proud about who you are today? What advice would you give to your younger self? What self-loving commitments would you make to YOURSELF?

As for my birthday celebrations… My daughter was leaving for college last Saturday, my husband was leaving for a 6-day business trip on Sunday, and my son informed me that he will be having dinner with his buddies on my birthday. Since we moved from NJ to VA a few months ago, all my good friends, cousins & sisters are at least 3-6 hours away. That means, I’d be celebrating my birthday all by myself. :( Good thing I had the foresight to get myself a birthday cake last Friday, so that my family could celebrate my birthday in advance, while everyone was home. :)

On my actual birthday, I took myself to a day spa for a 90-min massage. It’s one of my favorite birthday traditions FOR myself. Even when I was going through some dark times in the last few years, I kept up this self-loving tradition, which I’m proud and grateful for. I usually hang out in the quiet room of the spa afterwards to reflect and set intentions for the new year. This year, I couldn’t find a full-feature day spa like the one I loved in NJ, but, I did find a nice spa that offers a rose and lavender massage. I was intrigued because the description says it includes a dry body brushing, flowing full body massage with rose & lavender cream, and being “cocooned” in a bed of rose petals while enjoying scalp and neck massage. Being “cocooned” like in a butterfly chrysalis? You know how much I LOVE butterflies. Of course I wanted to try that! It was very relaxing, indeed. Then, I tried a new Asian fusion restaurant, because I was craving sushi. Imagine my surprise, when I saw the “Caterpillar Roll” on the menu. Wow, another sign about butterflies! Of course, I HAD to try the Caterpillar Roll along with sashimi. They were both delicious and I was so impressed by the presentation! Another surprise was that my son texted me an hour before dinner, saying his dinner plan got cancelled, so he could now have dinner with me. YIPEEE! We went to our favorite Thai place near our home and had a great time! I feel so blessed and grateful for all the love and birthday wishes from my family and friends.

Now, go watch my video (see below). I bet you can relate to my story on some level, as so many people who watched that movie have told me so. I have a hunch that it might help you in some way. I’d love to hear your story and what you think of the video. Please leave your comment below, OK? If I can support you on your journey in any way, please do not hesitate to contact me.

More importantly, please take good care of yourself, because you are irreplaceable.

Here is The Keeper of the Keys video. Enjoy! If you love my segment, you’d want to order your own copy of The Keeper of The Keys movie DVD here.

The Keeper of the Keys movie DVD cover

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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Have You Made THE Shift Yet?

Start a Legacy
Four days ago (March 11th), Google CFO Patrick Pichette announced that, after nearly 7 years as CFO, he is retiring in order to spend more time with his family. His heartfelt letter of resignation blew up the Internet and inspired many discussions and articles about work life balance and honoring one’s core values.

On the same day, my daughter received a wonderful news that she was named as a recipient of the Rutgers 2015 Academic Excellence Award. This award is given by the university to the top 10% of sophomores at Rutgers based on GPA performance in their respective schools. My husband and I are overjoyed and SO proud of our baby girl. She maintained a 4.0 GPA through her freshman year, and I know that’s not easy as an Animal Science major on the Pre-Vet track. She has always been very conscientious and self-motivated. My husband and I are far from the so-called Tiger Dad or Tiger Mom. In fact, growing up in an “Achieve or Die” culture, having experienced (and barely survived) the Overachiever Minefield, and having lost 2 cousins to suicide in their teen and early 20s, I am highly aware and mindful of NOT subjecting my own two children to many things that I went through in my youth.

When the news broke out on the same day about Patrick Pichette’s retirement and my daughter’s award, I was once again humbly reminded of my enormous responsibility of raising the next-generation high achievers. I was reminded of a photo of me and my daughter taken on her high school graduation day (pictured), where there was a banner behind us that read “START A LEGACY”. I wasn’t aware of the banner when we were taking the picture. It was until much later when I looked at the picture and realized what a PERFECT message we were given. What a blessing! This whole “business” of being a parent is about leaving a legacy, isn’t it? We are not here just for ourselves. At the end of the day, we’ve got to ask ourselves, “What kind of legacy am I creating? At the end of my life, what kind of legacy am I leaving behind?” That’s WAY more important than any fame, fortune or achievements.

We’ve got to ask ourselves, over and over, “What kind of role model are we being for our children?” As you know, our children learn more from what we do, than what we preach.

A few years ago, I watched a transformational movie called The Shift, starring Dr. Wayne Dyer, one of my favorite spiritual authors and mentors. In the movie, he talked about a fascinating study called The Moment That Turns Your Values Upside Down. In this study, they asked a large group of men and women to list their top 5 priorities before and after “The Shift”, which is the “Quantum Moment” that changes your life in such a dramatic way that challenges and changes your priorities, core values, and even WHO YOU ARE. Sometimes The Shift is triggered by a spiritual awakening, a tragic loss, or some kind of “wake up call”. Doesn’t it remind you of my Metamorphosis story?

Are you curious about the top 5 priorities men and women have? (Hint: they are VERY different) And how their top 5 priorities changed after The Shift? (again, VERY different and totally surprising)

Let’s look at men first. Before The Shift, men’s top 5 priorities were:

  1. Wealth
  2. Sense of Adventure
  3. Achievement
  4. Pleasure
  5. Be Respected

After The Shift, men’s top 5 priorities changed to:

  1. Spirituality
  2. Personal Peace (less anxiety and stress, peace of mind)
  3. Family
  4. God’s Will (a sense of purpose)
  5. Honesty (authenticity, honest with his own feelings and with himself)

Dr. Wayne Dyer noted that spirituality was NOT even on top 15 for men before The Shift, however, it became their #1 priority after The Shift. Family was on top 15 before The Shift, although it was way down on the list.

Now, let’s look at women. Before The Shift, women’s top 5 priorities were:

  1. Family
  2. Sense of Independence
  3. Career
  4. Fitting In
  5. Attractiveness (looking nice, be liked by others)

After The Shift, women’s top 5 priorities changed to:

  1. Personal Growth (How am I growing as a human being?)
  2. Sense of Self-Esteem (How do I feel about myself? Am I worthy and valuable?)
  3. Spirituality
  4. Happiness
  5. Forgiveness (letting go of resentment and hurt from the past)

Dr. Wayne Dyer noted that, for women, happiness was almost at the bottom of their priority list before The Shift. Women were told that doing what they are supposed to do is more important than feeling happy or feeling entitled to happiness. After The Shift, happiness climbed to #4 on their priority list.

Quite a dramatic change of priorities for BOTH men and women, right? Were you surprised? What surprised you the most? Can you relate to the study results?

Back to Google CFO Patrick Pichette. What prompted this dramatic and unorthodox career move? Pichette recalls a vacation in Africa with his wife last fall, during which she suggested they keep traveling and really see the world. He initially gave a typical prudent CFO type response: I would love to keep going, but we have to go back. It’s not time yet. There is still so much to do at Google, so many people counting on me, etc. (you can read his full memo at the end of this post)

“Then she asked the killer question,” Pichette wrote in his memo, which he posted to Google+. “So when is it going to be time? Our time? My time? The questions just hung there in the cold morning African air.”

That was his THE Shift moment. He recognized and embraced THE Shift, and made the conscious and wise decision to honor his core values and priorities.

How about you? Are you living a life aligned with your core values and priorities? If not, would you like to make THE Shift? 

No, you don’t need to quit your job, run to Africa or move to a monastery on top of a mountain (unless you want to). You CAN make THE Shift right where you are.

Nirvana, as they say, is just a thought away.

THE Shift is a change process which starts from WITHIN yourself — your thoughts, beliefs, mindset. It’s an inside-out job. Of course, to change your life to re-align with your new priorities and core values, you’ll have to change your behaviors and make different choices about your life too. This is where coaching can help. Big time.

Once you become aware that your current life is not in alignment with your core values, priorities and/or who you truly are, the mis-alignment can feel increasingly uncomfortable, even excruciatingly painful. It’s like forcing yourself into a pair of way-too-small shoes AND having to walk 5K in those shoes every single day. Ugh! It’s pure torture and self-abuse. Just the thought of it makes me shudder.

Instead of torturing yourself, let me invite you to consider coaching with me. If you are a high-achieving woman (or man) who is very successful BUT feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and unhappy at the end of the day, AND you have challenges with:

1) Taking care of EVERYONE but not enough time for YOURSELF

2) You are dealing with “Internal Stress” such as being very hard on yourself, constantly criticizing yourself, trying to be nice and please everyone, trying to be perfect & put-together all the time, fear of failure, or fear of judgment/rejection

If you are struggling with one or more of the above challenges, you WILL benefit from coaching with me.

Some of the benefits of coaching with me:

  • Less stress and anxiety, Better sleep
  • More joy, inner peace and calm
  • More self-confidence at work
  • More self-compassion and less self-judgment
  • Better mental focus, productivity & performance
  • Better understanding of your own limiting beliefs & behaviors (Less self-sabotage)
  • Better self-care and better health
  • Better relationship with yourself and with others (think your spouse, children, in-laws, coworkers, friends etc)
  • Better at saying NO and setting healthy boundaries
  • More time for you WITHOUT GUILT
  • Practical tools and strategies for managing yourself and your work/life

Imagine… If you can have just ONE of the above benefits RIGHT NOW, how differently will YOU feel? How much BETTER will your work life & family life be?

The Peace, Joy and Freedom of creating a life you love can be yours, if you have the courage to MAKE THE CHANGE. Let me be your guide.

Meditation

The truth is, if you keep doing the same things you’ve been doing, you’ll keep getting the same results. How will you feel a year from now, or 5 years from now, if you keep doing what you’ve been doing?

If you are READY and WILLING to invest in yourself and your life, I’d like to offer you a *complimentary* 30-min Initial Consultation with me.

This can be done by phone (or Skype, if you live outside of the US) at a time that’s convenient for you and me. Please note: this is NOT a sample coaching session. This is a consultation to explore if we are a good fit for coaching.

Whether you decide to coach with me, you WILL definitely get clarity about your challenges and the possible action steps for you. So, you really have nothing to lose, and EVERYTHING to gain.

I have a limited number of Initial Consultation openings each month. It’s first come, first serve. To apply for your consultation, simply click on the “Apply Now” button below to schedule your appointment online.

Apply Now

 

 

 

P.S. Here is Patrick Pichette’s full memo:

After nearly 7 years as CFO, I will be retiring from Google to spend more time with my family. Yeah, I know you’ve heard that line before. We give a lot to our jobs. I certainly did. And while I am not looking for sympathy, I want to share my thought process because so many people struggle to strike the right balance between work and personal life.

This story starts last fall. A very early morning last September, after a whole night of climbing, looking at the sunrise on top of Africa – Mt Kilimanjaro. Tamar (my wife) and I were not only enjoying the summit, but on such a clear day, we could see in the distance, the vast plain of the Serengeti at our feet, and with it the calling of all the potential adventures Africa has to offer. (see exhibit #1 – Tamar and I on Kili).

And Tamar out of the blue said “Hey, why don’t we just keep on going”. Let’s explore Africa, and then turn east to make our way to India, it’s just next door, and we’re here already. Then, we keep going; the Himalayas, Everest, go to Bali, the Great Barrier Reef… Antarctica, let’s go see Antarctica!?” Little did she know, she was tempting fate.

I remember telling Tamar a typical prudent CFO type response- I would love to keep going, but we have to go back. It’s not time yet, There is still so much to do at Google, with my career, so many people counting on me/us – Boards, Non Profits, etc

But then she asked the killer question: So when is it going to be time? Our time? My time? The questions just hung there in the cold morning African air.

A few weeks later, I was happy back at work, but could not shake away THE question: When is it time for us to just keep going? And so began a reflection on my/our life. Through numerous hours of cycling last fall (my introvert happy place) I concluded on a few simple and self-evident truths:

First, The kids are gone. Two are in college, one graduated and in a start-up in Africa. Beautiful young adults we are very proud of. Tamar honestly deserves most of the credit here. She has done a marvelous job. Simply marvelous. But the reality is that for Tamar and I, there will be no more Cheerios encrusted minivan, night watch because of ear infections, ice hockey rinks at 6:00am. Nobody is waiting for us/needing us.

Second, I am completing this summer 25-30 years of nearly non-stop work (depending on how you wish to cut the data). And being member of FWIO, the noble Fraternity of Worldwide Insecure Over-achievers, it has been a whirlwind of truly amazing experiences. But as I count it now, it has also been a frenetic pace for about 1500 weeks now. Always on – even when I was not supposed to be. Especially when I was not supposed to be. And am guilty as charged – I love my job (still do), my colleagues, my friends, the opportunities to lead and change the world.

Third, this summer, Tamar and I will be celebrating our 25th anniversary. When our kids are asked by their friends about the success of the longevity of our marriage, they simply joke that Tamar and I have spent so little time together that “it’s really too early to tell” if our marriage will in fact succeed.
If they could only know how many great memories we already have together. How many will you say? How long do you have? But one thing is for sure, I want more. And she deserves more. Lots more.

Allow me to spare you the rest of the truths. But the short answer is simply that I could not find a good argument to tell Tamar we should wait any longer for us to grab our backpacks and hit the road – celebrate our last 25 years together by turning the page and enjoy a perfectly fine mid life crisis full of bliss and beauty, and leave the door open to serendipity for our next leadership opportunities, once our long list of travels and adventures is exhausted.

Working at Google is a privilege, nothing less. I have worked with the best of the best, and know that I am leaving Google in great hands. I have made so many friends at Google it’s not funny. Larry, Sergey, Eric, thank you for friendship. I am forever grateful for letting me be me, for your trust, your warmth, your support, and for so much laughter through good and not so good times.

To be clear, I am still here. I wish to transition over the coming months but only after we have found a new Googley CFO and help him/her through an orderly transition, which will take some time.

In the end, life is wonderful, but nonetheless a series of trade offs, especially between business/professional endeavours and family/community. And thankfully, I feel I’m at a point in my life where I no longer have to have to make such tough choices anymore. And for that I am truly grateful. Carpe Diem.

Patrick

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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Tune in Tonight to Claim Your Personal Power and Confidence

Would you like to know how to claim your personal power and confidence? How do you remain calm, centered and confident no matter what’s going on “out there”? When unspeakable tragedies like the Boston Marathon bombing happen, how do you find your peace of mind?

Please join me today (April 18th at 7PM EST) as I will be interviewed on The Positivity Project, an online speaker series hosted by my friends Katherine Poehnert & Alan Cohen. On this call, we will discuss:

  • The 8 Invisible Chaos that keep you fearful, stuck, broke, unhappy, shooting yourself in the foot and beating yourself up over and over
  • A powerful 3-step process to help you BE calm, centered and confident when everything is falling apart
  • One decision you MUST make to release self-doubt, self-sabotage, pain, anxiety, hidden shame & guilt
  • What you can learn about personal power from ancient Taoist wisdom and martial arts
  • Why you cannot fully claim your personal power if you try to avoid negative emotions
  • A counterintuitive way to claim your personal power

There is no cost to join this call, and if you can’t make the live call, you have 48 hours to listen to the recording. But, I do encourage you to call in LIVE if you can. You can ask me questions right on the call too.

Here’s the link to sign up ~> bit.ly/ZiJeKl

Hope to “see” you on the call tonight!

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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Change does not have to be hard IF…

Whether you feel like you’re forced to make a change, or, your heart is telling you it’s time for a change, there is NO DOUBT that change is in the air. Yes, change is in the air you and I are breathing – the air that we need for survival. There is no escaping from it.

I know many of you are going through tough transitions right now. I also know some of you are feeling restless, anxious and know in your heart of hearts that you NEED to make a change. You feel excited and eager for a change, but also nervous about the unknown and unsure of yourself. Do you resonate with this?

The question is not whether/when there is change in your life. The question is, “How well are you coping with change?”

And, when it’s time for you to take a leap of faith, do you have the COURAGE and CONFIDENCE to do so?

If your answer is not a resounding YES, then you need to take advantage of the new program I’m offering.

www.hueinasu.com/programs/change

If you missed the Navigating Change with Grace and Ease Teleseminar where I shared how to tap into the energy of the Water Dragon and the 4 C’s you need to thrive in 2012, you can listen to the recording on that page too.

Here’s the thing, as with everything in life, you can do it the hard way, or you can do it the easy way. Change does NOT have to be hard **IF** you have the right mindset, the right how-to and the right support.

It IS possible to allow more grace, ease and peace of mind, even in the toughest transition or the most tragic moment. It IS possible to preserve your self-esteem and self-confidence even after a huge setback or failure. It IS possible to bounce back and reinvent yourself over and over. It IS possible to finally let go of the past and move forward.

There are very specific INNER and OUTER action steps you must take, in order to thrive in change with more grace and ease. I’d like to teach you how to do that. Your job is to make a CHOICE to accept my support.

Join Navigating Change with Grace and Ease Program Today

In this intimate *interactive & experiential* group program you will learn:

Take the L.E.A.P. — my proprietary 4 step process to help you take the leap of faith and thrive

Kwan Yin’s W.A.V.E. Formula for abundance manifestation (Kwan Yin is the Goddess of Compassion in Chinese Buddhism)

–Specific Mindset Shifts you must make to thrive in change, allow grace, attract abundance and success

4 C’s for Thriving in Change — processes to cultivate Clarity, Courage, Confidence, Commitment

–Emotional Healing Techniques that are based on ancient wisdom, modern neuroscience research and cutting edge healing technology — help you let go past emotional traumas and dramas, overcome fears and anxiety, release self-limiting beliefs, and become aligned & congruent for success

Daily Energy Management Techniques – to stay centered & balanced, protect your bio-energetic field so you won’t be drained by toxic people and toxic energy in the environment

Grounding techniques I’ve used to help me win 10 gold medals in state, regional and international martial arts championships.

I’m designing the program to be interactive and experiential, because I know first hand — through 24 years of helping others go through all kinds of challenges and difficult transitions, as well as my own share of challenges — how critical it is to tackle BOTH external and internal barriers, to make the changes from the inside out, and to be congruent and aligned with who you are (not just what you do, or what you say you want). Merely understanding the theory or taking the external actions WITHOUT making the internal changes will set yourself up for more struggles and suffering. Furthermore, you’ll end up repeating the same negative pattern over and over.

It’s just as important to release the past emotional traumas and self-defeating beliefs as it is to work on practical action steps. In fact, I’m convinced that if you want to uplevel your success, you MUST work on uplevel your self FIRST. Sometimes you are required to reinvent yourself personally and/or professionally, which I have done successfully many times myself and I can help you do the same.

There are several great bonuses when you sign up for the program. And, I have decided to extend the Special Early Bird Tuition Monday May 28, so you have more time to listen to the recording and sign up for the program.

Get all the details and register here:

www.hueinasu.com/programs/change

I received so much positive feedback for “Navigating Change with Grace and Ease” Teleseminar. What a powerful call it was! We had a few hundred people signed up for the Teleseminar. If you missed it, no worries, you can listen to the recording now.

www.hueinasu.com/programs/change

There’s no need to register again to listen to the recording. You can also download the MP3 to your own computer or iPod.

Don’t delay – listen to the recording ASAP. Remember, you can SAVE $50 if you register for the 3-session group program by end of Monday 5/28!

Get the recording and all details about the program here:

www.hueinasu.com/programs/change

I’m excited about this new program and I’d love to welcome and support YOU in this **intimate and interactive** group. Please let me know if you have any questions.

Peace & Joy,

Hueina

P.S. Please forward this email to all your friends & family who are going through challenging change & transitions. They will really appreciate it.

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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