Waiting to Exhale

Hueina’s note: This is an article I wrote 3 years ago. When I re-read it today, it gave me goose bumps. The transformational experience I had 3 years ago prepared me for my work with cancer patients today. There are no accidents…. only divine appointments.

Waiting to Exhale

written by Hueina Su, September 01, 2007

Two months ago, I went for my annual physical. I felt perfectly fine, except some vague symptoms that could be explained in many ways. Nothing to worry about, I thought, until I got the reports from my doctor and the hospital, urging me to do more tests.

Let me tell you, having several doctors inform you, within a week, that they found “something” in both your breasts and ovaries, is NOT something that would make you jump for joy. That much I’m sure.

All of a sudden, I went from planning for relaxing summer getaways, to planning doctor’s appointments and medical tests. I was in shock, trying hard not to think about the worse case scenario. Fortunately, the RN in me remained calm and efficient. I got busy researching options, talking to doctors, nurses, and scheduling all the necessary tests.

In the meantime, my children were off for summer vacation. Because of the sensitivity of the matter, I didn’t share much information with them. In the beginning, I didn’t tell my parents, either. The last thing I need is to trigger panic in everyone around me, which would only add to my emotional burden.

Instead, I reached out to several friends who I knew could “handle” this news, gave me the support and some assurance I desperately needed. The Universe responded to my intention, and sent several people my way who had been through either breast cancer or ovarian cancer, or could point me to the right direction for resources.

Crisis or Blessings in Disguise

I believe that with every crisis, there are always opportunities, blessings in disguise, or lessons to be learned. In fact, the Chinese word of “crisis” is made up of two characters — “danger” and “opportunity”. I believe that there are no accidents. Everything happens for a reason, and it’s always for my best interest, even though it might not look that way at all. I had to look deep inside, trying to figure out the blessings and the lessons for me.

When I need guidance, sometimes I like to ask a question then randomly open a book to read what’s on that page. Sometimes I like to draw from a deck of Goddess cards (The Moon Goddess Oracle Deck) that my friend Terri gave me. And sometimes, I would randomly turn the wheel on my iPod to see which chapter of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s The Power of Intention shows up. Doing one of these things almost always brings me exactly the message I need to hear. This time, the message I got from the Goddess cards was “Just Be” (You are the essence of love and light just by being you), and “Initiation” (Find power, joy and comfort in the change that is seeking you). Dr. Wayne Dyer reassured me that it’s OK to “somersault into the unknown” and to trust that all is well.

Heal Yourself First

It wasn’t hard for me to realize that, my body was sending me a message that I must SLOW DOWN. I had been working very hard on my business in the past few months. Even though I’m truly passionate about coaching, and it’s been very rewarding to be able to make a difference in other’s lives through coaching, writing and speaking, I realized now that I was working a little too hard. I told my coach that my body was throwing out all these symptoms to try to slow me down, which was pretty funny when you think about how our body “talks”. When your body talks to you, whether it’s whispering or yelling, please, listen carefully, and heed its advice.

That’s exactly what I did. I decided to take off most of July and August, cancel Teleclass, business meetings and monthly e-zine for August, take a much-needed family vacation, and focus on healing myself. What good will I do for my family, friends, and clients, if I’m not healthy, happy, and operating at 100% capacity? I need to walk the talk, and as the African proverb says, I need to heal myself first, before I can heal others.

By the way, if you are worried about your health, or have unexplained symptoms, please, take the initiative to talk to your doctor and request the test necessary. When it comes to health, it’s always better safe than sorry. Believe me, it’s MUCH harder to deal with the unknown. When I was a nurse, I worked with a lot of terminal cancer patients. Back then in my country, it was very common for the family to conceal the cancer diagnosis or prognosis from the patient. As a result, many patients had no control in their own treatment or how they wish to live their last days. It was simply heart-breaking to watch. You must be an advocate for yourself, and take the responsibility for your own health.


Speaking of change that is “seeking” me, a few days after the first test result came back, my husband and I took our children to the beach. The ocean always calms me down, and I needed to sort through my emotions and thoughts. While I was sitting on the beach, contently watching the children, the clouds and the waves, a beautiful black and orange butterfly (not sure if it was a Monarch butterfly) flew by. It circled a few times, and then came to “sit” next to me on my beach towel, just about 3 inches away from me. “Hey butterfly”, I silently acknowledged my surprise companion. I know butterflies symbolize transformation. I thought to myself, “How fitting that this butterfly showed up by my side”. Amazingly, the butterfly stayed with me for more than 10 or 15 minutes. It reminds me of the Monarch butterfy that stayed with Dr. Wayne Dyer for hours, as told in his book Inspiration. He was convinced that, that particular Monarch butterfly was the reincarnation of his good friend Jack, who was crazy about Monarch butterflies. I wonder, which of my old friends or family was this butterfly that sat with me on the beach?

Helping Hands

They say when it rains, it pours. Two weeks after I had my physical, I had a heat stroke while taking the Tai Chi Sword class outdoors on a hot and humid day. When I mentioned this to my newsletter subscribers, emails and phone calls poured in, wishing me well, suggesting various alternative treatments, offering prayers and healing sessions for me. I feel truly blessed and loved to have all these wonderful people surrounding me, and helping me on my quest to healing myself. To all of my friends who have extended a helping hand, I will forever be grateful for everything you have done for me.

Among the people that helped me in this process, I especially appreciate Christina Santiago & Nancy Orlan Weber RN who introduced me to Young Living Therapeutic-Grade Essential Oils, Bonny O’Mullane who did The Journey meditation with me, and Leigh Anne Sommers who offered me prayers and healing sessions.

Christina and I met at a networking meeting a while ago and she told me how the Young Living essential oils helped her husband recover from a medical condition that even top neurologists couldn’t solve. I was intrigued, but didn’t think I needed the oils. You know, being a former RN from a family with 4 generations of doctors, nurses and dentists, my training and upbringing are firmly rooted in western medicine. Up until this summer, I had not explored or experienced alternative medicine, besides Chinese herbs that were a part of our diet growing up. For some reason, when I was at the hospital, waiting for my breast biopsy, I thought of Christina and her husband’s story. I can only said it was a divine intervention, because the radiologist decided against performing a biopsy on me, after examining me by ultrasound. There were too many blood vessels surrounding the nodule, and the doctor didn’t want to risk puncturing them. In a way, I was spared (I ended up getting a breast MRI instead). Here’s why I said it was a divine intervention: when I drove home from the hospital, there was a voice mail from Christina!!! She was just checking in to say hi. I called her back immediately, telling her my situation, and asked “Are there any oils that could help me?” She then took me to her good friend & mentor Nancy Orlan Weber RN, who educated me about the essential oils and gave me a protocol to use. I had to make changes in my diet as well as personal care & household cleaning products that contain harmful chemicals that are stressing my body and endangering my health. The Young Living essential oils helped me nurture and heal my body, heart and soul. If you have not experienced the amazing effects of therapeutic-grade essential oil, I suggest you give it a try.

Bonny is a dear friend and fellow Certified Empowerment Coach. She has always said that she felt an instant, deep connection with me, ever since we first met a few years ago through another coach. Highly intuitive and compassionate, Bonny was just the right person to help me with The Journey, which helped me heal some of the physical symptoms that were caused by past emotional traumas.

Then, there’s Leigh Anne, a powerful mystic who lives on Vancouver Island, Canada. How we met was purely serendipity. I would never have met her, if she did not find me first. I believe we have most likely met in our previous lives. Leigh Anne came to me for coaching about a year ago, and we later became friends. She came to my Teleclass series this May to present her “Awaken The Goddess Within” class. The energy field was so strong during the Teleclass that it shut down the Bridgeline recording!

When I mentioned to Leigh Anne what I was going through, she graciously offered her prayers and several healing sessions over the phone. Leigh Anne even asked her other Goddess friends to look out for me, and their insights really helped. At first I was a little skeptical about energy healing over the phone, but it was the most amazing experience. Even though we were so far apart (I’m in New Jersey, and she on Vancouver Island), over the phone, I could feel her “physically” touching me and massaging my back. Trained in the traditional western medicine, I knew very little about alternative medicine and energy healing, until I experienced acupuncture last year. Now I know how it feels when energy or Qi is working through my body. Still, I have never experienced what Leigh Anne did to me.

One night I was all stressed out, worried about the worst case scenerio, Leigh Anne did a “toning session” with me, during which I was completely overwhelmed by the unconditional love I felt, through my heart and my body. My whole body was vibrating. I was almost in tears — tears of joy. I felt a very strong sense of knowing that I am loved, and I will be fine. All is well in my world. Amazingly, after that, I no longer feel fear about my test results. For some reason, I simply don’t feel worried about that any more.

I am so grateful to have these loving souls and amazing healers around me!!!

Higher Purpose

My friend Gary told me that, people with a strong sense of life purpose and mission are less likely to “leave the world”, because their souls would choose to stay in order to finish their work. I joked to Leigh Anne that I guess I will stick around for a little longer, because I have a very strong sense of my purpose, and I know my work is not done here. She said, “You are right, you are just getting started girl!!!” And we both laughed.

Having the belief in my higher purpose and knowing my work is not done, gives me a great sense of comfort. I feel safe knowing that the Universe will support me in doing my work for the greater good of everyone involved. I’ve learned to have faith and “trust the process”, and believe that whatever comes my way is meant to help me grow into the person I am meant to be. I have to stay in the present, listen to my authentic self, be open to guidance and the transformation I am going through. I need to let go (big time), and just BE.

All is Well

After two months of dealing with the unknown, my last test result finally came back. I was cleared from any cancer. Whew!

I can finally take a deep breath and let it ALL out…. Ah, life is good! All is well in my world.

All is well.

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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