The Nurturer’s Coach and Best-selling Author Hueina Su to Speak on Life Balance and Business Success for Today’s Business Women

The Nurturer’s Coach and best-selling author Hueina Su will speak at Powerful You Women’s Network Denville Chapter Meeting titled “Intensive Care for Today’s Business Women: Keys to Reduce Stress and Nurture Yourself as You Grow Your Business” on Wednesday May 19, 2010 at 12:00 pm.

DENVILLE, NJ — May 15, 2010 – Today’s business women face special challenges such as coping with stress and burnout while growing their business, juggling multiple roles and responsibilities at work and at home, trying to “fit everything in” and no time left for themselves, feeling guilty about self-care, stress affecting their health, career and relationships.

“All too often, they do not have the right success mindset, are filled with self-doubts, fears and undeserving mentality and unaware of their self-sabotaging behaviors. Among many other reasons why they do not succeed are lack of clarity, motivation, solid action plan, execution and ongoing support,” says Hueina Su, an internationally known keynote speaker, success coach and the best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others.

Su’s best-selling book, Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul, offers in-depth discussion, tools and strategies for stress relief and self-care. “My lifelong journey as a caregiver inspires me to write Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul as an interactive guidebook,” Su says. “This book is written for nurturers such as business women who take care of their business, customers and staff and feeling stressed, overwhelmed, exhausted at the end of the day, no time for themselves, feeling selfish or guilty taking care of themselves.”

Su will speak at Powerful You Women’s Network Denville Chapter Meeting titled “Intensive Care for Today’s Business Women: Keys to Reduce Stress and Nurture Yourself as You Grow Your Business.”

In this presentation, the participants will learn:

* The signs and consequences of chronic stress and Self-Care Deficiency Syndrome
* Why self-care is connected to your wealth attraction and business bottom line
* How to Stop, Drop and Roll out of overwhelm and create more time for YOU
* A paradigm shift to take care of you WITHOUT feeling guilty or selfish
* The 4 C’s you need to manage fears and THRIVE in change!

This meeting will be held at Veggie Heaven, 57 Bloomfield Avenue, Denville, New Jersey on Wednesday, May 19 from 12:00 pm to 2:00 pm. To register, contact Loann Simon by calling 973-409-4993.

For more information about Su’s best-selling book and special bonus gifts, visit www.intensiveselfcarebook.com. This book is also available at Amazon.com.

About Hueina Su and Beyond Horizon Coaching
Hueina Su, MS, BSN, CEC, The Nurturer’s Coach, is a renowned expert in helping people restore the missing peace and balance in their stressful lives. Su is a professional keynote speaker, certified life coach, and the best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others. She is on a mission to bring the message of self-love and intensive self-care to make a difference in the lives of more than one million women nurturers.

Su is the founder and president of Beyond Horizon Coaching, a global coaching and training company, specializing in providing solutions for work-life balance, stress management, and Intensive Self-Care through personal coaching, executive coaching, teleseminars, keynote presentations, team-building training, and other wellness services. She is the creator of Rx for Balance, The Coaching OasisT, and Nurture and Grow Rich programs.

To sign up for free stress management video e-course and learn more about Su’s coaching, keynote speaking and training services, visit www.HueinaSu.com or www.youtube.com/watch?v=3InuKNxfZNY

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Note: Hueina Su’s full bio and additional photos www.HueinaSu.com/media-room.

She is available for interviews and can provide a list of tips and other articles. Call 973-664-0446 (O), 201-572-3641 (Cell) or email Hueina@BeyondHorizonCoaching.com.

Contact Information:
Hueina Su
Beyond Horizon Coaching
Phone: 973-664-0446 (O), 201-572-3641 (Cell)
Email: Hueina@BeyondHorizonCoaching.com
Web: www.HueinaSu.com

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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From Self-Sacrifice to Self-Love

I remember vividly the day I told my Mom that I was pregnant with my first child.  My Mom was overjoyed. This would be her very first grandchild and it meant the world to her. She congratulated me, and then she said something that stunned me. “Be prepared to give up at least 10 years of your life for this baby.” My first response was, “Sacrifice 10 Years?!! Um, how about me? How about my own life?”

Back then, I was approaching 30, loved my career, and had no intention of being a stay-at-home mom (although later on I did stay home for a few years and I would never trade anything for those years with my children). I know my Mom was simply telling her truth. That’s how she lives her life as a mother and wife. However, the concept of “sacrificing” ten or more years of my life was such a foreign idea to me that it shocked me, intellectually and emotionally. To me, this self-sacrifice parenting model sounds too “all or nothing.” Even as inexperienced as I was, I knew instinctively that it’s not good for my overall well-being. I remember thinking to myself, “Is this really the only way? Why can’t I have my baby, my career AND my life?”

If you know anything about Chinese culture, you know that “self-sacrifice” is highly admirable, even expected, especially for women. Men are also expected to self-sacrifice, but usually only for a higher cause, like family honor, the emperor, or their country. The bottom line is, most people avoid being perceived as selfish at all cost, and they put their own happiness and self-worth at the mercy of others.

After almost 20 years of living in the US, counseling and coaching countless people, I know that the Chinese are not the only group who think and behave in this way. The fact is, we are all more alike than different from each other.

Despite cultural differences, women are biologically hard-wired and socially conditioned to take care of everyone first, and often do so at the cost of their own well-being. Those who are moms are especially prone to self-sacrifice for their children and their spouse. It’s safe to say that most moms put their family as their top priority, and they are willing to let their own career take a backseat. It’s really a matter of personal value and choice. I never agree with the so-called mommy wars between stay-at-home moms and working moms. I’ve been a full-time working mom and a full-time stay-at-home mom myself, and I can honestly say that being a stay-at-home mom was one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had. I believe it’s extremely important for children’s best interest to have their parents physically and emotionally available for them. There is no substitute for undivided attention, quality time and unconditional love. How you achieve this depends on your unique circumstances and your wisdom.

It’s admirable for moms to put their family first. As moms, we all sacrifice something for our children and our family. When we sacrifice our time, sleep or our career out of pure love for our family, we do it willingly and joyfully. It’s a beautiful act of love. However, many women feel that putting their family first is a duty and obligation they cannot and dare not refuse. They feel extremely guilty and shameful to take time for themselves, honor their own needs, and pursue their dreams, especially if there is a conflict with their family’s needs or expectations. On one hand, they feel unhappy and resentful for such self-sacrifice; on the other hand, they feel strongly that they have no other choice.

Every day, I see bright, beautiful, talented women sacrifice their own well-being, aspiration, passion and their dreams in the name of love. It breaks my heart. For these women, giving up their own passion and dreams often leaves such a big hole in their heart and their souls that they feel sad, torn, trapped and lost. They gradually lose their self-confidence, identity, purpose, and their true self. It’s truly tragic.

I bet you know someone like that. Perhaps you are someone like that.

When you sacrifice your own well-being or dreams for your loved ones out of obligation, or fear of being judged or rejected, chances are, you end up feeling resentful. You might try to guilt trip your spouse or children to do what you want them to do, because, after all, you have sacrificed so much for them. When they do not oblige, you feel disappointed, frustrated, sad, angry, and even more resentful. Have your parents tried to guilt trip you? Did it work? How did it make you feel? If you have been forced to do something out of guilt, you probably felt resentful too.

Resentment is toxic for any relationship. Overtime, it will poison the very relationship you want to nurture, and you end up resenting the person you sacrifice yourself for. As Malachy McCourt wrote so poignantly, “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person would die.” Do you really want this poison in your family relationship?

Another thing to consider: Research has repeatedly shown that depression can be passed down from moms to their children. The alarming fact is, the cause is more than just genes. One clinical study I came across studied pairs of moms and their young children who are both depressed. They treated the moms first, and found that when a mom’s depression improved, her child improved too without treatment. That’s how powerful a mother’s behaviors and emotional well-being can affect her child!

I’d argue that moms who self-sacrifice are more prone to depression than moms who have a healthy self-image, self-confidence and live a fulfilling life. You might think you are sacrificing yourself for your children’s best interest, however, you might be unknowingly affecting their well-being. Please know that I brought this up because I care about you, not because I want to make you feel guilty or inadequate as a mom (no one can “make” you feel anything without your consent, by the way). I’ve suffered from depression before, and I know the dark abyss. If you suspect that you might be suffering from depression, please make sure that you seek professional help right away. It’s not just for your own sake, it’s for your children’s well-being as well.

Remember, your happiness counts too! Stop sacrificing your well-being in the name of love. Stop shoulding all over yourself. Stop using love as an excuse not to pursue your own dreams and live up to your highest potential. The highest level of Intensive Self-Care is self-actualization. The world needs you to express your gifts and talents, and fulfill your life purpose.

The best inheritance you can leave your kids is an example of how to live a full and meaningful life,” wrote Dan Zadra. When you can give your children a happy and healthy mom, everybody wins. Your children are watching you and learning from your example. They need to learn how to honor their own needs, stand up for themselves, listen to their inner wisdom and pursue their dreams. What kind of example are you setting for your children? What legacy will you leave behind? That’s something worth pondering.

Action Challenge:

1. What makes you happy? What’s one thing you can do to nurture yourself this week? Give yourself permission to do that. Add it to your calendar now.

2. Read something that will inspire you and give you permission to practice Intensive Self-Care. My book Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others is perfect for this. Download your sample chapters here, if you have not done so. Read the chapter “From Self-Sacrifice to Self-Love“.

3. What is the dream you have put on hold for your family? Dust it off, and tell someone about it, even if it sounds like an impossible dream to you right now. If you can’t even bring yourself to tell someone about it, tell it to yourself by writing it down. There is tremendous power in writing something down or telling someone about your goal. You are taking the first step toward making it happen.

About Hueina Su
Hueina Su is an internationally recognized expert in helping heart-centered, successful but exhausted high-achieving professional women break The Good Girl Spell, and find the missing PEACE and BALANCE in their stressful lives. She is an international keynote speaker, certified executive and life coach, best-selling author of Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others, and a featured expert in the award-winning transformational movie The Keeper of the Keys along with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff.

For more information about Hueina’s speaking, coaching, book and other products, visit www.HueinaSu.com

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